It is quite interesting how I was guided to walked into RYK (Raise Your Kundalini), the Kundalini Yoga studio in Las Vegas, and make the first payment for the upcoming Teacher Training. Before I go into this, let me give you a brief information of the experience with Kundalini Yoga prior to this.
In December of 2014, I went to the studio for the very first time with a friend of mine. She had found something to do on New Year’s Eve, which was a Gong Bath. “YES!” I was definitely in. However, once we got there, it wasn’t just a Gong Bath, but some weird yoga. We had to take our shoes off upon entering, which was normal to me. When we entered the yoga room, there was this guy with a very strong presence sitting on something like an altar wearing a turban. “What in the world?” Prior to that event, I hadn’t seen anyone like that in my life. The exercises were kind of weird but a lot of energy was being built up, so I thought it was quite cool. Finally we laid down for Savasana and the Gong was singing. I swear my physical body moved and I felt I was having an out of body experience. It freaked me out.
Even though that space in particular felt so familiar and like home, I did not go back until I got a message that was super clean. A friend of mine from a Reiki circle did a past life regression on me. This is another experience that left me with my mouth wide open in disbelief. At the end of the session, he asked to talk to my subconscious mind. He asked the following,
“Is there anything Claudia must know?”
“Kundalini”
The fascinating thing about this session was that although words were being spoken through me, I knew it wasn’t me the one talking. It was almost as if I was behind the curtain, watching a play. When he brought me back, he said to me,
“Do you know what Kundalini means?”
I laughed. I knew. I knew that it was time to go back to that studio and get over the fear of whatever had been shown to me during the very first encounter. A couple months later, during a yoga festival in Las Vegas, “Vegas Gone yoga,” I took the Gong Bath class again, which happened to be AGAIN a Kundalini class and what do you know! There was a huge poster that said,
“Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training”
The signs could not have been clearer. I took a picture of it and decided to be part of it. I had no idea whatsoever what Kundalini Yoga was. During my first teacher training, we were told it was the yoga of singing... definitely not. There is a lot of chanting, but it is not just a yoga of singing. When I walked into RYK to make the first payment of the teacher training, Cosmin, the one leading the training said I was the very first one to sign up. I remember the curiosity in his eyes. There it was a “random” girl that perhaps he did not even remember making a payment for a teacher training she had no idea what it was about. That being said, it was one of the best decision I have made in this life thus far.
Kundalini Yoga ... inserting heart emojis ...
I remember the very first day of the training. We were all sitting on our mats looking towards the altar were Cosmin was sitting. He said to us,
“You must have done something so good to be sitting here.”
I had no idea what he meant at that time. I do understand it now and I am deeply grateful.
The practice of Kundalini Yoga, for my system, is one of the most beautiful practices there could ever exist. It is not like Ashtanga Yoga, Vinyasa, Yin, and all the other Yoga modalities. It is very direct and if you are ready for it, it will bring forth whatever is needed for you to let go of illusions and surrender to your truth. I believe that even if one person takes one Kundalini Yoga class, his or her presence in class means the time has come to wake up to the incredible abilities as human beings we have. Truthfully, it is such a blessing to be in a setting like that.
I would be lying if I told you the training was easy. No way. No way at all. It was the most difficult training I have ever done. Yet, it was one of the most beautiful; the second one being the next Kundalini Training I took with Yogi Amandeep in the Himalayas the year after. The reason why it was so difficult was because I was so in the physical and somewhat disregarded the energetic part of me. Even though I was already a Reiki practitioner, I had no idea what that meant and didn’t even know the parts that compose our beings. The deeper the training got, the more I was feeling the subtleties of my being. Energetically, I was being opened up in the most beautiful and rapid way. Yet, I still fought it. I did not want to let go of who I though I was and I wanted to keep my routine. I wanted to keep having fun. I didn’t think I was ready to experience more. I was wrong.
My being knew better. My being knew I was ready and it disregarded what my mind thought putting away my fear with unconditional love. I was pushed from being so much in the physical to experience the esoteric in the most upfront way. I began to have out of body experiences during practice and began to truly love myself. Not just my physicality but my true essence. I was floating like I hadn’t been in unconditional love to the Self and others. I began to understand what compassion meant and gratitude. For the very first time in my life, I did not need any kind of substance to feel good. I was high enough, super high on my own energy and I absolutely loved it. I stopped smoking weed. There was no reason for it. The only way I wanted to be high was by practicing Kundalini Yoga and experiencing more of my being.
During the Teacher Training, my Kundalini energy shot up. This was the biggest turning point of my life. Truly a complete 180 degrees change. I lost control. I didn’t know what was happening. Everything opened up that one night. I was hearing messages super clear as in someone was sitting right next to me. I felt presences around me all the time. The Kundalini Masters would appear to me and I saw them. It wasn’t like I said “Oh, let me imagine this one dude.” No. They would show up while I was having dinner, while I was driving, at any occasion I needed some kind of confirmation that I wasn’t going crazy. Thank God, because that is how I felt. The more things shifted within, the more things shifted outside. That was the scary part of me. There was no more “I can’t do this,” “I am no ready for this,” because obviously it was happening because I was ready.
As things continued to break in system, meaning codes and programmings, I couldn’t remain the same. I was different. A ginormous portal had opened and I was right on the threshold stepping through it. A bigger force was leading the way and I could not hold back. I began to go through trances. This would normally happen at night, right before having dinner or right after. An energy would be felt and my physical body would move in the most creepy way. My arms would move backwards, as in someone was trying to pull them back and detach them from the rest of my body. My spine would turn and at times would move like a snake, making an infinity symbol with the movements. My neck would do the same thing. It wasn’t fun at all. It hurt a lot most of the time. However, the reason why it was painful was because the energy was putting my physical body back into balance.
Every time my arms would be pulled backwards, my shoulders would readjust. The same with my spine, with my neck, with my lumbar, with my pelvis. I had so many imbalances in my physical body that to this day, I have no idea how it made it through the years. My right side was collapsing as the left was pulled upwards. My pelvis was tilted. The disks in my spinal column were turned into different directions. My torso rather than facing forwards, was facing the left. My neck was tilted towards the right. I know all these things because I have felt and still feel my body going back to its neutral position. The trances and feeling all these adjustments, made everything so real. I had been asking to truly know who I was and not only experience my truth, but also live it. I was for sure getting that.
Even though this is due to the practice, it wasn’t the only thing that shifted in my being. Of course when something like this happens, more is happening in the energetic bodies. Many traumas came up to the surfaces to be released. I began to remember my childhood and why I couldn’t remember memories from my early years. It was like a big explosion had happened at the core of my existence and everything that had been blocking me from experiencing my true essence collapsed and were moving upwards to my awareness to be let go and free myself. This is something that is not easy to do. But I had to trust, which is another thing this practice helped me tune into. The level of trusting beyond my abilities wasn’t something I knew how to do. Reverence is a big thing in this practice. I did it all with my heart because I did not want to suffer any more and I couldn’t afford to continue to suffer. So I fully gave in.
The Masters guided me. Guided this being into the light. I truly believe that even though I had a marvelous life, deep inside I wasn’t truly happy. As a matter of fact, I was miserable. I had a massive problem with self-image. I had struggled with anorexia and bulimia since a very young age. I had gone through a very intense depression where I was suicidal for almost an entire year. I hated my physical body and I faked it all very well. That was what hurt the most. People thought I was so happy and like I said, I was very happy with my partner at the time. I loved him so much to the ability I had at the moment, but I didn’t love myself and it was felt in every cell of my body. This darkness came up and I had no other way but to deal with it. It wasn’t fun. Many times I wanted to hide. Many times I wanted to run away. Many times I wanted to fall asleep and not wake up or wake up in the future when all these things had disappeared, but that’s not how it works.
I went through it all with the companionship of the Kundalini practice. It was my best friend through it all. Even though at times I still had no idea what was going on, I did Sadhana. I realized that the three times I had stopped, I was dropping back down to a place I had been for so many years and I knew very well. I also knew I did not want to be there again. Only if I needed to visit for a specific reason and with a goal in mind. So I kept with it.
“Keep up and you will be kept up,” said Yogi Bhajan.
I did. I kept up with the practice even though at times I wanted to be lazy and do other things. I kept up because for the very first time in my life, I was putting myself first and my enjoyment in life. My happiness, my health, my abundance. It wasn’t about anybody else, but myself. I made it a goal, to truly get to know myself and to be in such a blissful state. I knew that I couldn’t had been the only person going through that. I was figuring out the way of how to let go of the identity I had thought it was me for so long in the most graceful way. It was all being shown to me. So much guidance through downloads and through meeting other people that were mirroring to me where I wanted to be and how I wanted to live my life; as a pure example of happiness and unconditional love.
It has been more than three years since I took my first Kundalini Training. I still do Sadhana. I still wake up at four in the morning to take a cold shower, set up my altar, recite Japji, a prayer, do my Kundalini Yoga set and finish up with Aquarian Sadhana. Many people would drop their jaws at how long it takes me to do so and even perhaps give me the weirdest look. I do this all not because someone tells me, but because it has worked for me and it still does. Every day, as I sit in easy pose with my eyes closed, whether is meditating, chanting, doing Pranayam or being in an asana, my being breaks free even more. I experience more the Divinity that comes through as I surrender fully to that which is. I sit there, not only for me, but for all who have come, for all who are coming, and for all that are already here. I sit there as I explore more my connection with God and allow my heart to be the leader of my journey.
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