Womb Healing

Martes 27 de Julio del 2021. Lawrence, Kansas, USA.

I was forgetting about magic. That is true. I had been forgetting about magic. I AM GLAD I am meow aware of it. How many women does this happen to?

At times we think we are so connected and then BAM something happens and get super disconnected. So much time on the screen does that to me, and concentrating so much on the little details of what I am doing to make my business grow. The thing is, Angelic Guidance is all about magic! So forgetting about magic is forgetting about her!

I am sorry little one!!

So, last night… well it has been happening since last week because of the book I was reading “The Witch’s Daughter.” Many things got activated in me. Simply because I know those things are real. Remember?

“Fiction is non fiction and non fiction is fiction.”

Haha I love that!

So I began to connect more with my witch sisters that have always been there to guide me, I just wasn’t aware of that until the last part of that book. I called upon them, and I initiated myself. Then, they guided me into a deeper initiation process which was doooopeee. And a bit painful lol

Ok, not a little bit… SUPER FREAKING PAINFUL!!

Last Friday was my birthday. It was an amazing day truly. I did get a bit annoyed by Amor because he was working and I just wanted to spend more time with him but at the end, we ended up doing some improvisational movement, or however it is called. Then, the next day, I get my moon. Kinda perfect after the amazing full moon my birthday was!

However, that night… wow… that night very important things happened in my journey. I was feeling so strange. I was feeling pain in a different ways than normal, so I knew it wasn’t cramps. Not regular. I tried so hard just to stay with my breath, but I couldn’t. I laid down in bed, being so freaking present, but my body had already began to make noises. The same noises when it is uncomfortable, then it opened up. My womb was screaming! My womb was healing itself. It had a rupture, which I hadn’t known but I guess it made sense. It screamed as it was coming back fully online, as it was healing itself with the aid of my sisters. My body moved around like crazy. I cried like crazy, holding onto it. And it still screamed. I hadn’t felt anything like that before. 

(Side note: remember to breathe! Lol)

But it knew what it was doing! A part on its left was open, so it was moving back to its center, stretching in a way a part of itself so it could reach the open wall of the left side. This is why it was screaming. Of course it knew it hurt, but as it came back online, as it became alive, fully, literally, knew what it needed to do. It knew it wasn’t going to be easy, because it was going to involve a lot of my moving and a lot of pain. But it also knew I could take it; we could take it.

And so it continued.

Stretching, reaching the other side and burning it together, in a way like sewing but with fire.

Goodness!

It hurt like hell because the wounded part of the left side still felt like a victim. It was still blaming others and not taking ownership of what it had done to itself. So throughout the process, my womb also had to hold space for that part to let go of the victim mentality. Jesus… how it loves itself. And of course, it wasn’t just a rupture, there was a massive ball of stuck energy the wounded part was keeping to feel “safe.” This ball was so attached to it that it extended root like stuff into the solar plexus and the diaphragm passing through the spleen. 

WOW! Ok! That makes so much sense!

And so while the womb was holding space and guiding its wounded part to heal, and put itself together at the same time, the wounded part had to pull those roots out of it self to fully let go of that ball of energy that was impeding the welding of itself back to the womb.

Holy shit! Complexity!

While all of this is happening, I am moving around aimlessly, trying to find a position to be as still as I could, totally failing at it because my body would not stay still. There was no position that would allow the process to be more gentle. One hand was at my womb, the other was down on the floor keeping the body up with my knees and shins. My eyes were closed for a second but even the closeness of the eyes wasn’t helping to stay a little bit more calm. So they fluttered opened. I remember looking at the carpet on our bedroom floor. It seemed like it was morphing like being on an ayahuasca or mushroom journey. I heard myself scream out of pain, while my hair was dropping and moving around as if the wind had picked up inside the apartment. Mucus dropping from my nose as if it were a massive waterfall. Tears were confused and moved side to side with the movement of the body and head.

I felt my eyes so tense and thought that perhaps this was going to be a massive trauma. Then, I realized the trauma itself was the one coming out, so I was freeing myself from it, not embracing it. Amor came from his room. I felt him trying to put his hands on my back and trying to do something. He must’ve been like,

“Dang, something massive is happening.”

I know for sure something like this hadn’t happened before. His presence made me feel more comfortable, yet the pain was still unbearable.

“Is this how it feels like to give birth?”

I truly hope not.

Pacing around the floor like a chicken without a head, not knowing when it was going to end, while my womb still did its thing. The pain moved throughout my spine and reached my crown. Something opened up. It was very subtle and I couldn’t really pin point at that moment what was going on because the pain was the main character of that experience. A beam of light came down to my crown, very strong, but very gentle. A lotus flower bloomed. It was white, but with flickers of yellow and purple. It began to float upwards as it bloomed. And then more beams of light came down. A communication had opened.

The beams entered my body and traveled all the way down to my womb. It soothed the pain. It was exactly what it needed to finish the process. The light is what sealed the rupture and what helped the wounded part to fully take off the roots of that victim mentality. After finishing this job, the beams traveled all the way down to my feet, cleaning anything else that was there and reaching the center of the Earth. When the Mother felt a daughter had woken up, she immediately sent a confirmation and excitement cord. She was welcoming me home.

Her cord traveled all the way up to my heart. At that space the beams that had been coming from above met. They all merged. I had merged. I had been revived. I was back.

When the process ended, my body collapsed on the floor at the corner of our bed. My breathing was rapid. Amor still had his hands on my body channeling Divine Love to me. There was no sounds. Just my breath. Silence, emptiness but fullness. I knew something bigger than me had just happened. I knew I wasn’t the same I had been a few hours ago. I knew I had been initiated. I heard all my sister cheering. It had been their cheering that at times it made it easier to breathe through all that pain. 

“Welcome home sister,” some said.

Others were just clapping, and cheering. Others were dancing around and laughing while hugging each other.

I had been reborn.

Of that I was sure.