Transitioning into my new life and way of being, hasn't been easy... not that I thought it was gonna be easy to be honest, but I didn't think I was gonna be so emotional about it all 😂
As I was reading the first pages of The Artist's Way, the part of "mourning your old self" it became so clear to me that the reason why I've been so emotional is because I AM mourning my old life and my old self... I didn't have time, or let's say it correctly... I didn't give myself time to stop to feel the massive shift and changes I was going through... I pushed them aside so my family wouldn't worry, until I came back to Thailand.
Yesterday, as that awareness became evident, I shared it with D: how much I miss my old life, how much I miss Matt whom has been my bestie since High School, how much I miss my family and friends. How much I miss Toby's cuddles and... puppy... how much I miss my little squishy face... she always knew, ALWAYS when mommy wasn't feeling good and we have this thing, this connection. I'd send her a telepathic message to wake up so we can sneak out without waking anybody up and go to the park. We'd run together, pretty much every day this year... even though... she sucks at running HAHAHA but it was so incredibly adorable seeing her running for a few seconds and then do her fuck it walk! 😂 Gosh I love you so incredibly much baby! And well... also how much Nature helps me ground.
Today, he surprised me big time. I totally melted inside. A bit after breakfast he said "wanna go somewhere for a bit?" Like you don't have to ask me twice! Lol
He took me to an Alboretum! TREES, NATURE! OMG! 😍😍 I JUST LOVE U!
I hugged trees... of course, come on, it's me! He even said "What to do?" "Touch trees?" "Ok, go touch a tree, you tree hugger" 😂😂
YES! I absolutely did and not just one! Haha, I talked to them, I chanted to them, I played like a kid... YEA YES YES!!
All because how detailed and caring he is!
I hugged him and said to him "You are SOOO adorable!" He laughed asking why... for taking me to Nature, for showing me how much you care, for your presence, for being so incredibly understanding and for your unconditional love.
Thank you 🙏
I'm SO grateful for you 💖
I love you SOO deeply much 💖