When we think about how many languages are all around the world we realize how diverse we all are. However, there is one that is universal and that's the Love Language.
Perhaps you recently heard about this language, perhaps not. I didn't know it existed until I began the relationship with my twin. It wasn't something I grew up with so when my Twin first brought it up it sounded kind of funky to me. I truly didn't get it at the beginning ... well ... there is nothing to get really, it is about the implementation of such language in order to increase the connectivity with your partner and yourself.
It was until recent that it became more obvious we had to work harder at it. The way I am using the word hard here is not the way we go to the gym and do a crazy workout. It is the more gentle kind, the "putting your entire awareness because you understand its crucial for the relationship to strengthen" kind. It can also be very difficult, very very difficult if you are used to something else, because in essence, you ARE learning a new language.
Let me share something with you.
As I said above, I had no idea this existed so I thought showing my love the way I was used to was more than enough. I am very affectionate. I will hug you, kiss you, hold your hand, tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me, etc. multiple times a day. For me, that was exactly how love was shown so I assumed it was the same for others too... oh I was wrong. Perhaps yes that is a way of showing it but how is it being received? Is this how my partner perceives love? Or does it take him to another space? In my case, it took him to a completely other place that I didn't even know it existed and well it was a big surprise.
When we had a conversation and he told me how affection made him feel like my mind felt confused. Up till that point, that was how I had seen, given, and received love.
"What do you mean?" I thought. I really didn't get it.
I began to work very hard at not being as affectionate as I normally am. The last thing I wanted was for him to go into that space because of me. Perhaps that was what needed to happen so he could work through that, but it wasn't the moment. He was already going through major shifts. As the message I constantly receive says:
"One thing at a time."
Yup. One thing at a time.
Let me tell you that it wasn't easy at all. I was used to for 33 years to do one thing and all of the sudden this habit had to be broken. At times I would find myself about to hug him, hold his hand, kiss him, and then ... "Remember." Oh ya, Ok. That's true. It felt that somehow I wasn't being myself, yet it wasn't about me. It was about the way HE felt love, not the way I had thought he received love.
What was the most difficult not only for me but for him was the way I perceive love.
Imagine, for someone that affection doesn't feel very good receiving it yet that is the way his partner receives love… definitely a trip. Affection is my Love Language. If I don't receive it, I don't feel loved at all even though I truly know how deeply loved I am. Crazy no? It is as if my emotional body shuts down because it doesn't feel important at all. When in reality I know I am the most important person in his life. It becomes such a contradiction in my being. The mind understand yet the physical body and the emotional body want more. A simple touch to be acknowledged. A simple hug to feel important. A simple kiss to know I am indeed special. Part of me thought:
"Am I being needy?"
No, I wasn't. That is just how my system speaks love and in order for our relationship to bloom, we had to work on it hard. I had to tone down the affection and be of service to him in order for him to feel loved. He had to work on being affectionate so my system wouldn't shut down and feel appreciated and important. As I said earlier, it is like learning a complete new language and it had to get done. Why? It is quite simple. Do you wanna grow together? Do you want to expand together? Do you want to have a connection like any other? Do you want to feel and live a love beyond human? Do you want to expand your consciousness in order to live a happy and healthy life? Understand, honor, support, and hold space for each other in order for your own organism to do what it must for you to experience what you must experience in this existence?
Our answer is yes. So every day not only we work on ourselves but on the relationship we have because we are extremely important to each other and because we both deserve to experience Divine Love in the most exquisite way.
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The Five Love Languages:
• Physical Touch
• Acts of Service
• Receiving Gifts
• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
Head to 👇 for more info:
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/