Do you remember the Pixar Movie "Inside Out"? I remember watching the movie and thinking something about it must be real. I do that with pretty much all things. My system goes into assessing mode and takes little bits and pieces of information to explore them. However, even though when I first watched it I felt something about it was real, I let it be. I let it be until a few weeks ago when that movie became real in me.
As I continue to grow, more awareness hits me. Some are very lovely, some not so much. However, I welcome it all with open arms and with so much gratitude because it is such a big confirmation of my growth and let’s be honest, who doesn’t like that? I have gotten used to being uncomfortable. Of course at times is not easy at all. At times the ego wants to come out and run the show. At times it is difficult not to let it out especially when something has hit a deep emotional wound. When this happens, I used to shut down, go to the room and be by myself. I find myself still doing that, not as much, but now I give a bit of a clue to my partner that something is passing through me. Even though I am still perfecting this aspect of my life, I am extremely proud of the progress I have been doing. I used to be a volcano and in my eyes I was always right even if clear evidence and facts showed the contrary. Ha ha ha what a game we are playing! It is quite exciting when we remember not to take things personally and of course it can absolutely work the opposite way.
I have been in this conscious path for nearly ten years. I say conscious because I truly believe we have been in it since birth and beyond whether we knew it or not. I have learned to listen when things pop up, to take care of myself, to put myself first and also to apologize when it is needed. The later one was the hardest lol as my system had this code working full force. It truly amazes me the amount of codes and limited beliefs I have been breaking during the past years. Sometimes these come up and we don’t realized they broke until the full awareness comes through. I had a huge one that came to me recently: Self-Sabotage. Allow me to share this part of myself with you. Who knows? Perhaps some things will resonate with you as well.
A few days ago, Amor and I went through a journey. Such journey allowed me to see things more clearly and in a sense see the full puzzle and how each piece comes together. Cool right? Yes, indeed. Even though it was like being around unicorns and butterflies, I truly wasn’t aware of what I had gone through or done to myself in order to be where I am. A couple days later, this awareness came. Somehow Amor kept thinking throughout the day that I was in funky mood, but truly I wasn’t. I was observing and seeing his bodies as he was going though somewhat of a stressful time. I grabbed a book, “The Mastery Of Love,” (super great book by the way!) and went to the balcony to read it. This book has been hitting home since I opened it. I laid on the hammock and something told me to put the book down. As I explained above, I have gotten pretty good at listening to messages, so I obeyed. I put the book down and heard with my heart what was coming through.
I began to see my life as a movie playing through my third eye without any judgements whatsoever. I paid attention. Something big was coming through. I felt it deeply. It was like a Plant Medicine Journey, when Mami Aya shows you your life and what you have been doing with it. I saw the very first experiences where I had felt so lost, so alone. They kept repeating throughout the years. Little by little things kept unfolding and then ... it hit hard ... how unhappy I had been throughout my life, how much disgust for myself I had had and how destructive I had also been. Of course I had known this and this was something that hurt deeply coming out. It wasn’t like it had come out from one day to the other but for years! Years upon years upon years of self-hate, self-loathing, self-destruction. Painful for sure. When I think about how many years I had spent in that kind of mind set, it makes absolute sense the intensity of my awakening, trances and releases. However, the one thing I hadn’t realized until I was in the hammock was how much I had sabotage my own happiness and life throughout my years. This is what blew my mind.
I am just going to call it the plant. Somehow it feels best calling it that way. The plant began to show me, how I had kept destroying my outside world over and over and over again because what I felt within: self-hate. I didn’t think I was worthy of love, nor happiness. I found every single little excuse to sabotage it. When I felt happy, I thought that wasn’t the right mind set or feeling, so I would do something to stop it and go back into the fear or unhappiness mode. My jaw dropped. It hadn’t just been once, but multiple times. Countless times! I could not see how beautiful I have always been, therefore my outside reality couldn’t be blissful. Even though life kept showing me my truth, I kept trying to destroy it. Why? Because in my eyes I was hideous. I was the worst person and I did not deserve to be happy or to have such a peaceful life.
It was so obvious that we indeed manifest what we feel we are worthy of and how much life mirrors what is within in the outside world.
One of the most beautiful things I have created in my life, is the relationship with my ex. This is when my jaw dropped further. He is the greatest man. Truly. Hands down. I can tell you that he is the reincarnation of an angel. He is an earthly angel and one of the greatest beings that has ever existed. Period. I have always known it, but at times I forgot. Of course. Sometimes we go so inwards and forget what is around us or forget to actually see. Well, as I previously said, I had a pretty low self-esteem and at those moments I thought I wasn’t worthy of anything. So, I did things for him to hate me. I hurt myself many times. I tried to end my life. I tried to end the relationship many times prior to the separation, but it wasn’t because of lack of love, but because in my eyes, he was WAY too good for me and he deserved more. However, I didn’t know what I was doing. I can clearly remember those moments and I truly just thought I was bipolar. I wasn’t aware of the sabotage I was doing to myself until I laid on the hammock.
It made me think how many of us do this so often and don’t even realize it. Do you do it? Do you do it as much as I used to? Wow! This is big you guys! So big! Why do we not even think that we are worthy of all the magical things in this plane of existence? Blows my mind. Completely blows my mind. I know there is a “normality” in human society and we are born into it. This is the reason why is so important, SO IMPORTANT to practice mindfulness. It is CRUCIAL to practice Self-Love until it transforms into our true nature. It is beyond important to remind ourselves daily of how absolutely stunning we are! How powerful we are! Remember that if you don’t like something in your current reality, you can always change it. You HAVE the POWER to change it. Please remember that. We didn’t come here to sabotage our happiness, we came here to create the biggest blissful path the world has ever seen!
I invite you to look at yourself in the mirror and say looking straight into your eyes how extremely beautiful you are. Whether you believe it or not, it is true.
I invite you to imagine the happiest life that you could ever have.
I invite you to give yourself permission to bring that into your current reality.
I invite you to believe in yourself.
I invite you to forgive yourself.
I invite you to love yourself.
I invite you.
Will you take the invitation?
Releases truly know when to fully come out. I wonder at times if they are beings themselves and think “Oh! This is actually the perfect time to do so!” Meanwhile the human has no idea whatsoever what is about to happen. Funny. Funny indeed. I also feel that it doesn’t just begin there. Perhaps these beings had already communicated to the system to set up the release time and to make sure nobody else was around unless needed. YES. I TOTALLY believe that is the case. Let me explain why.
There come times in our life when life itself as we might perceive it, doesn't seem to be enough.
Is it truly not enough? Or is it an askew perception of what life truly is?
What if life itself is the most perfect representation of an unconditional love the greatest "being" is giving birth to?
What if life is being moved by That Which Is?
What if life is a constant movement of the perfection of a wave that shifts as it becomes more aware of itself?
What if thinking and perhaps feeling that life is not enough, opens up the space for life itself to be experienced in a way that is utterly perfect?
So here comes the thoughts.
The thoughts of an aware being that continuously opened up the space to be constantly aware as the shifts increased day by day.
When I was younger, I often felt completely different, in the sense that someone could possibly understand me. So I chose to hide, to hide in the depth of the uncertainty that was growing within.
I didn't realize how so not different I was until I ran away from my partner at the time, my family, my friends and the city I had called home for so many years. Asia for sure showed me that although I had been different in some extend, I was also equally as similar to some that had felt the exact same thing pretty much all their lives.
This was the moment that shifted A LOT of things. I had felt at home in so many ways before, but there was something unlike this feeling of home that I hadn't felt before.
I want to share something with you and please open up your minds and your heart in ways that perhaps you haven't done before, especially if you have "known" me personally for a while.
Although I had been living my life in what I called truth, I truly hadn't. No, it's not that I wasn't faking it, I honestly thought the one running the show was me, my true identity. However. The more I grew, the more I realized how something completely different than the actual ME, had been living MY life ... up until recently.
In Asia, in Thailand and The Philippines, I met extraordinary people. People that spoke like me, people that at times didn't need to speak, yet the conversation was still flowing. There was something beyond the spoken words, something in the space in between words and in the silence.
People that have done the work I was going through and I'm going through and can say "Oh ya, I went through that as well," making it seem like, it's "normal;" part of the process. Hearing such words made me think,
"Thank God. I guess I am not crazy nor I ever was!"
Can you picture the relieve I sensed? After so many years thinking that I was some kind of alien in this Planet. 😂😂😂
Following one's heart's desire is not as simple as eating a piece of cake ... well ok... that perhaps is not as easy either! 😜😂 but if we wanna talk about it ....
How many codes have been engraved in our systems? How many programmings since before we even know when existence truly began or what that word actually means? What is stored in our cells and DNA that prevent us and make it challenging to discover the greatness that is inside us all?
Wow... some deep questions.
Yes.
They truly are!
These are questions that pop in my mind as I see processes dissolve right in front of my eyes. Questions that would have appeared in a different manner if I hadn't met "my tribe" in Asia.
When someone tells you,
"Welcome home dear"
And your entire being tingles, you KNOW you have found home and the longing for it stops. Because you just know.
How did it all begin?
As I said, I ran away. Do most people ran away or they choose to stay?
I can't comment about others, but I can about this system; the system I call my own.
It reached a point where it needed to explore and not explore the world (it just came with it, which I am super grateful for it), but explore itself and find itself through such exploration.
It began to think,
"There must be something "else" there"
As the call to go back to Asia was so strong. There was such a magnetic pull that could not be ignored. So it chose itself.
It chose to allow its essence to guide and float in the pool of rivers that will lead it to the ones whom had been waiting for it.
It chose to flow with what we call life.
Was it easy?
Hell no, it wasn't easy. At times, it's still not easy, yet it understands.
It understands that codes are being re-discovered and broken. It understands that its TRUE essence is coming forth and guiding every step of the way if allowed. It also understands that at times the same codes that are being broken can seem to take charge if loosing the sight of things.
So where does the balance come from?
In this system, the balance comes from trusting there is nothing broken within, but in such a perfection as things are coming to the surface bringing more awareness.
The balance comes from knowing and seeing even if it was only for a split second where it came from and why it chose to come here.
The balance comes from accessing the space in between and traveling throughout the night to places that are thought to be imaginary.
The balance comes from that unconditional love that goes beyond what those two words convey; a love which moves it all.
The balance from knowing that you and me and everybody else, although seem to think are experiencing something completely different, in reality aren't.
The knowing that in a space where everything gets moved with such care and something beyond love, separation doesn't exists and in that space creation gets dissolved to its specific point:
NOTHINGNESS
I have always been intrigued by teleportation. I remember many years ago, I started saying that I was gonna get teleportation down... in a moment when I was stuck in heavy traffic and I felt impatient. Never did I think, at that time with that awareness, I was actually going to.
What if... what if I told you that we are constantly teleporting? But it's a different kind, not the one we attached a specific definition to a word that might have a different meaning.
When we start to approach life with curiosity and noticing that not only we are creating our realities but also that multiple lives (ours) are happening all consecutively, we can begin to consciously learn what we are meant to learn, release or bring more awareness into someone's life; which will not only benefit them, but also ourselves and all of us a a whole.
I invite you to open your mind a little bit more with me today.
The concept of time, is just a concept and it gives us tunnel vision that we are meant to break out of in order to fully wake up. When we start to break out of the "normality" of life, we can begin to see the simulation we are in.
There are SOO many rules in life. Have you even wondered who placed them there? Have you ever thought that perhaps "they" were limiting you so you wouldn't tune in into your truth and the infinite powers of your being?
However, when we go back about the simulation of life and being the architects of your own reality, we know that we had also designed the rules, the tunnel vision, the forgetting for one specific purpose: to be grateful of the awakening.
I used to think that I would feel so much different and have so many super powers when waking up... which I do, they are just not the definition we attached to those words... attaching... we seem to believe that there is only one way of seeing things, one definition, that everything is set. I ask you this then:
With such limited beliefs, how would you invite your unlimited ones to your current Self?
The very first thing one must practice is dropping such beliefs and expand the mind to different and unlimited possibilities. As everything else, with practice, things get easier. The practice will bring confrontation which is expected; the only way to allow something to fully come out is to feel it, thank it and let it go. Such confrontation can be difficult, if one continues to attach itself to the limited belief in question or somewhat easy if the subject consciously goes into the releasing mode knowing that things will arise, being part of the process.
The longer the confrontation goes for, the longer the limited belief is "winning" its battle.
Compassion is the main key in this process. Compassion will help leading the way as the subject continues to shed layers upon layers of the being he or she thought to be. This technique can be easy forgotten at times if the limited belief is a core belief and the subject has been battling with it for years, perhaps even centuries.
The remembrance of compassion will always take the subject back to the lit road and things will seem easier.
Once these core beliefs begin to detached themselves from the subject, light enters through parts that had been hidden prior to the detachment. This is when things begin to flow easily.
At this moment, the subject has so much awareness that can pin point different things for its growth. It no longer attaches to limited believes and even if one comes up for somebody else, it's easily recognized.
Now, this is the moment where surrender has already worked its magic. As things become more recognized day after day, the subject can see what is happening and how the Universe is giving us everything we want ALL the time.
The Universe is always clearing the roads for us to walk through and reach our dream lives. Many times the roads are dirty, rocky and as they get cleaned, things arise, we release and continue on the path of consciousness.
There is a moment in what we call life when awareness is such that the subject starts to connect with the different versions of the Self in other lifetimes. When this connection gets strong, the subject begins to feel when it teleports to a different Self for whatever reason it might be.
I would like to share an awareness I had about this two days ago. As I was sitting in one of my besties "couch" (it's not really your traditional looking couch), observing the interaction of my friends, I noticed why I had been so tired and quite uncomfortable since my arrive to Las Vegas: I had been teleporting, entering the physical body of the Self that lives in the reality of Las Vegas.
I know it might sound crazy to some of you, but go back to one of the firsts things I said at the beginning about opening your mind and bare with me. I'll even give you an unicorn for some magic! 😉🦄😏
Ok... I hadn't been easy to be back, yet I couldn't placed my fingers on what it was, because I knew I was SUPER EXCITED to be back.
As I was sitting watching my friends, I felt it all. I felt that I had been uncomfortable in my own skin because the current Self, the one who is typing this blog, had a higher awareness than the one that lives here. There is nothing wrong with that, we grow and period.
Sitting there, I felt the teleportation starting to complete its action. Of course it's not gonna be instant, specially when a different awareness comes through and its rooting itself in a physical body that had a completely different level of awareness.
It was uncomfortable
It made me cry
It made be more grateful
It made speechless
And it made me love my life and myself even deeper.
It was
COMPLETELY
BEAUTIFUL
And the thing is:
WE ARE CONSTANTLY DOING IT!!
😱!
😍!
When we asked for something, we start to shed the layers that no longer serve us in order to reach the life we want to live and the Universe works its magic to make that reality real.
So, just life Phil Good says "we pick up the phone, call a Self in another reality so that Self can help us and guide us."
IT TRULY IS JUST LIKE THAT!
Since things might not seem to be working, sometimes we give up way too early, but that doesn't mean things are not being worked out behind the scenes. The Universe is always working for us with us.
ALWAYS
All you have to do is believe.
BELIEVE
What you ask for gets fulfilled, all it's needed is patience. As my grandpa used to say:
"Paciencia y buen humor"
"Patience and good humor"
That's all it takes loves; THAT and truly believing in your potential to manifest the life of your dreams. There is nothing more powerful than a human being and the reason is simple:
You are not just a human
Feel the connection to Infinity
Feel the connection to Source
Feel the connection with your heart
Let it go
Let go of control
Let go of expectations
Surrender
Surrender and Trust
Surrender
And
Trust
💜💜💜
