Divine Channel

At times I am not sure how to communicate what happens in my life, in my world, as it's something beyond what the human mind can fathom. Yet, it is extremely important to share as I know and feel I am not the only one experiencing all these things. The reason why I write and share is because I want you to know that you are not alone and if you have some gifts that are seen so "out there," to embrace them. The reason why you have such gifts is because for many many lifetimes you have been doing this work; the work of the Heart. You have been leading people to freedom. You have been the example for many and many look up to you because of that. It is because of your pure heart that such deep gifts get activated and Divinity can do its work through you. Now, what a blessing that is!

For many many years, perhaps even all my life, I searched for something. I knew I was different somehow. I knew there was something so important I had come here to fulfill. The thing is that I kept searching not knowing at the beginning that when you search, in a sense you slam the door of the one thing that sets you apart from everyone else. I suffered so much trying to find it, not realizing that I had it all along. I didn't realize that what I had been searching for was calling me as well, not from the outside but from within.

It is scary to answer that call. Especially when you have already created a life. It is scary when your life goes upside down. The thing here is that even though it feels is going upside down, it is actually heading straight up. When we stop trying to control, when we stop fighting against the change, the channels clear up and they show us the way. This is what happened to me.

On 2018 I left a place I had called home for more than half of my life. I left the community, my family, my besties, my puppies and my partner. I didn't know what was ahead of me, I just knew I had to trust. The road was foggy and I couldn't even see one feet in front of me, yet there was a bigger guidance from the depth of my being that was showing me the way. I tried to seem kind of confident about it, but let me tell you one thing... I wasn't at all. I was freaking the fuck out inside. I was dying and in a sense rebirthing from within. Everything in me wanted to lose it, but the fire from inside kept me alive; kept me going.

Truly, I didn't have any other choice which I am grateful for. It was either "You follow that calling or you die." It sounds harsh, but it is the truth. I am not talking about physically, but spirituality. If I hadn't followed that guidance the spark of light within me would have extinguished itself and the one laying on the hammock, listening to the melody of the waterfall as she's writing these words, wouldn't be here.

There comes a point in life where you have seen so many things you had dreamed of seeing. When you do, there is no going back. It is similar to The Matrix. You truly cannot go back and live that one "normal" life you had had, because you are completely different.

COMPLETELY.

I had known for years that I was doing something more than energy work, something more than Reiki. In 2016 I had the first experience of being a Medium. It absolutely made my jaw dropped. I was at my dear friend Emily's apartment. She was asking me how to hold a ceremony for one of her students. Her boyfriend had just passed. I began to explain to her what to do and then... something changed. I felt a different energy coming through and HE began to speak through me. When Emily noticed this, she grabbed a piece of paper to take notes. The spirit delivered his message and when it was done we both looked at each other with the "Holy Shit" look.

How can you possibly go back to that one "normal" life? Especially when the message was delivered to her student and she cried because that was exactly how her boyfriend spoke.

How can you possibly go back to that one "normal" life?

I reached a point where I knew I had outgrown the city. The guidance I needed was no longer there and the energy in Asia began to call me. So I packed my bags and took off. That was the hardest thing I have done for far.

THE HARDEST.

I was walking without seeing. Something bigger was moving me. At times I felt I didn’t have the energy to keep going, yet I kept being moved and I am beyond grateful for that push.

In Thailand I released so much and I let go fully of who I wanted to be. I began to just be. I concentrated on myself and my journey and let go of any kind of expectation I had. I allowed life to show me the way. Even if at times it felt completely nuts, I let it be and trusted because truly, I had no other choice. I had to trust.

I had to trust I had made the right decision on moving across the world. I had to trust that whatever my parents had told me was not true. I had to trust that whatever feeling which made me take the leap of faith had been the right one to follow. And it had. It absolutely had.

At the end of June of 2018, I found myself surrounded by the most loving Soul Family. The had seen me and they had accepted me from the very first moment. They had never judged me. The had seen me as the Goddess I embody. Through the space of acceptance and unconditional love, the portal towards my truth opened up and I stepped right through it. This is when the channeling became so pure and so strong that it activated the remembrance of the Light Language that comes through me.

At the beginning I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. However, I knew it. I felt deeply within my own organism that it wasn't the first time I had spoken that language. It hadn't been separate from me, it had been me all along and I had rediscovered it. The more I continued to hold space for others, the more it activated itself until it became normality. I no longer just had "Normal" Reiki Sessions, but I started to speak, chant and sing in that Language. Nature understood it. It became the way I spoke to her and animals as well. It became my mother tongue. Something that allows me to access Higher Realms of Consciousness and opens up a bigger space for you to do your own healing in my presence.

The more I worked with others, the more it humbled me and still does. Why? Because truly, I am not doing the work. This consciousness, the one who's typing goes away, as it were non-existent and something Greater moves through this organism. Even though I remember absolutely everything of a session, the energy that comes through, the things that are said, is not me but the Highest Version of you that comes through me to facilitated your own healing in the form of God.

I know this word can trigger many things for some. I am not referring to the Catholic or Christian God. When I say that word I meant the One thing that moves it all. The One thing that makes us experience this reality. The One thing that moves the leaves and branches of a tree. The One thing that allows the water to flow. The One thing that makes your organism function without you even doing anything at all. The One thing that creates life. That's what I mean when I say God. And within that space there's you as you aren't separate from IT, from me, nor from existence. As you are the One thing that moves it all: God

Self-Sabotage

As I continue to grow, more awareness hits me. Some are very lovely, some not so much. However, I welcome it all with open arms and with so much gratitude because it is such a big confirmation of my growth and let’s be honest, who doesn’t like that? I have gotten used to being uncomfortable. Of course at times is not easy at all. At times the ego wants to come out and run the show. At times it is difficult not to let it out especially when something has hit a deep emotional wound. When this happens, I used to shut down, go to the room and be by myself. I find myself still doing that, not as much, but now I give a bit of a clue to my partner that something is passing through me. Even though I am still perfecting this aspect of my life, I am extremely proud of the progress I have been doing. I used to be a volcano and in my eyes I was always right even if clear evidence and facts showed the contrary. Ha ha ha what a game we are playing! It is quite exciting when we remember not to take things personally and of course it can absolutely work the opposite way.

I have been in this conscious path for nearly ten years. I say conscious because I truly believe we have been in it since birth and beyond whether we knew it or not. I have learned to listen when things pop up, to take care of myself, to put myself first and also to apologize when it is needed. The later one was the hardest lol as my system had this code working full force. It truly amazes me the amount of codes and limited beliefs I have been breaking during the past years. Sometimes these come up and we don’t realized they broke until the full awareness comes through. I had a huge one that came to me recently: Self-Sabotage. Allow me to share this part of myself with you. Who knows? Perhaps some things will resonate with you as well.

A few days ago, Amor and I went through a journey. Such journey allowed me to see things more clearly and in a sense see the full puzzle and how each piece comes together. Cool right? Yes, indeed. Even though it was like being around unicorns and butterflies, I truly wasn’t aware of what I had gone through or done to myself in order to be where I am. A couple days later, this awareness came. Somehow Amor kept thinking throughout the day that I was in funky mood, but truly I wasn’t. I was observing and seeing his bodies as he was going though somewhat of a stressful time. I grabbed a book, “The Mastery Of Love,” (super great book by the way!) and went to the balcony to read it. This book has been hitting home since I opened it. I laid on the hammock and something told me to put the book down. As I explained above, I have gotten pretty good at listening to messages, so I obeyed. I put the book down and heard with my heart what was coming through.

I began to see my life as a movie playing through my third eye without any judgements whatsoever. I paid attention. Something big was coming through. I felt it deeply. It was like a Plant Medicine Journey, when Mami Aya shows you your life and what you have been doing with it. I saw the very first experiences where I had felt so lost, so alone. They kept repeating throughout the years. Little by little things kept unfolding and then ... it hit hard ... how unhappy I had been throughout my life, how much disgust for myself I had had and how destructive I had also been. Of course I had known this and this was something that hurt deeply coming out. It wasn’t like it had come out from one day to the other but for years! Years upon years upon years of self-hate, self-loathing, self-destruction. Painful for sure. When I think about how many years I had spent in that kind of mind set, it makes absolute sense the intensity of my awakening, trances and releases. However, the one thing I hadn’t realized until I was in the hammock was how much I had sabotage my own happiness and life throughout my years. This is what blew my mind.

I am just going to call it the plant. Somehow it feels best calling it that way. The plant began to show me, how I had kept destroying my outside world over and over and over again because what I felt within: self-hate. I didn’t think I was worthy of love, nor happiness. I found every single little excuse to sabotage it. When I felt happy, I thought that wasn’t the right mind set or feeling, so I would do something to stop it and go back into the fear or unhappiness mode. My jaw dropped. It hadn’t just been once, but multiple times. Countless times! I could not see how beautiful I have always been, therefore my outside reality couldn’t be blissful. Even though life kept showing me my truth, I kept trying to destroy it. Why? Because in my eyes I was hideous. I was the worst person and I did not deserve to be happy or to have such a peaceful life.

It was so obvious that we indeed manifest what we feel we are worthy of and how much life mirrors what is within in the outside world.

One of the most beautiful things I have created in my life, is the relationship with my ex. This is when my jaw dropped further. He is the greatest man. Truly. Hands down. I can tell you that he is the reincarnation of an angel. He is an earthly angel and one of the greatest beings that has ever existed. Period. I have always known it, but at times I forgot. Of course. Sometimes we go so inwards and forget what is around us or forget to actually see. Well, as I previously said, I had a pretty low self-esteem and at those moments I thought I wasn’t worthy of anything. So, I did things for him to hate me. I hurt myself many times. I tried to end my life. I tried to end the relationship many times prior to the separation, but it wasn’t because of lack of love, but because in my eyes, he was WAY too good for me and he deserved more. However, I didn’t know what I was doing. I can clearly remember those moments and I truly just thought I was bipolar. I wasn’t aware of the sabotage I was doing to myself until I laid on the hammock.

It made me think how many of us do this so often and don’t even realize it. Do you do it? Do you do it as much as I used to? Wow! This is big you guys! So big! Why do we not even think that we are worthy of all the magical things in this plane of existence? Blows my mind. Completely blows my mind. I know there is a “normality” in human society and we are born into it. This is the reason why is so important, SO IMPORTANT to practice mindfulness. It is CRUCIAL to practice Self-Love until it transforms into our true nature. It is beyond important to remind ourselves daily of how absolutely stunning we are! How powerful we are! Remember that if you don’t like something in your current reality, you can always change it. You HAVE the POWER to change it. Please remember that. We didn’t come here to sabotage our happiness, we came here to create the biggest blissful path the world has ever seen!

I invite you to look at yourself in the mirror and say looking straight into your eyes how extremely beautiful you are. Whether you believe it or not, it is true.

I invite you to imagine the happiest life that you could ever have.

I invite you to give yourself permission to bring that into your current reality.

I invite you to believe in yourself.

I invite you to forgive yourself.

I invite you to love yourself.

I invite you.

Will you take the invitation?

Breaking the Vegan Code

I sit on my desk that overlooks the beautiful garden we have still hesitating about writing this blog. However, the message has been quite clear for the past weeks. Plus, I sent a newsletter earlier in the week saying this blog will be posted tomorrow... I did that on purpose. Yup, I did it on purpose because I know myself fairly well and at times I can convince myself out of doing some things. Let me explain to you the reasoning behind my hesitation.

Veganism can be quite intense. I am referring to the ones labeling themselves as “vegan.” Before I continue, let me say something. Know this is my own experience. This is the way my system sees and feels things based on personal events. There is absolutely nothing wrong with calling oneself vegan. What people choose to eat, it is their right. This experience of life is the freedom to explore in different ways distinct things in order to expand your consciousness. I am not writing this blog for people to be upset at me or to call me names. If you choose to do so it is on you. I am sharing my experience because it is very important to expand the mind and see things from a diverse perspective. I respect every single human being, whether they are vegan, vegetarian, pescatarians, meat eaters, etc. I love everyone equally.

Ok, back to what I was elaborating on. Vegans are seen on tv protesting and being so strong in their own beliefs conveying that their way of life is better than the rest. Amor has a dear friend that used to do such things and his actions don’t make us love him any less. As a matter of fact, we respect what he is doing and what he has done in the past. He does it all from his heart space and he sees it as the right thing to do. It is all based on perception. So the reason why I was hesitant was because of my fear of being judged by people that have been close to me or are close to me at this moment in time. However, I understood that regardless of my beliefs, if someone wants to be in my close circle of friends, nothing will get in the way. And so I find myself writing this blog.

I used to consider myself as vegan. I labeled myself and I had no idea I had given birth to a code in my system. I saw it as “YES! I’m vegan! I’m healthy! I don’t harm any living creatures or organisms.” So, with the consciousness of that moment, I was doing the absolute right thing for my growth and for my system. Things changed this past July when a dear friend Serena went to Las Vegas to facilitate an innerdance (Kundalini energy activation) immersion. Amor and I were there as well visiting my family. Serena stayed with us at my parents’ house. It was completely awesome having her around. I resonate with her experiences so much and we both get our way of speaking in code. We were in the kitchen enjoying a small meal with my parents. They eat all kinds of things and deeply enjoy it. It is actually kinda nice watching them eat food that brings them joy. My mom had bought a pineapple upside down cake. My favorite growing up! Of course, non vegan. My dad asked me if I wanted some, I said “no.” He then asked Serena if she wanted a piece. First she said ‘no.” He made a comment and then she said “Alright. Alright. Just a small piece.” The small piece ended up being two pieces because one did not have some pineapple. This blew my mind.

I know how Serena eats. She mostly has raw food and juices. She doesn’t really eat gluten, nor eggs, or dairy. Pretty much a “raw vegan,” yet she doesn’t label herself as one. She enjoyed it. My dad’s face lit up. He was proud. After witnessing this, I began to observe the way I was with food. My mind would quickly go to “Is it vegan?.... oh no no no no then.” Pretty much considering one better than the other one. Soon I realized that I had boxed myself in the vegan code. I saw and felt how deeply that programming had been running in my system and I didn’t want it to be there any longer. If I choose to eat how a labeled vegan eats, it is one thing, but labeling myself and unconsciously building a code in my being ... no way. There is one thing I use all my practices for and that is to consciously break any codes and programmings in my organism. It is to be free from anything that society penetrated and placed a little seed which grew so strong. It is to enjoy my own existence in its own unique way, choosing what works best for it and what doesn’t. No labels. Being. Just being. So my quest to break the vegan code within myself commenced.

The way it works when something is too engraved in a system and wants to be free from it, is to be reminded of others that have broken the specific code that is being worked on. In my case, the reminder was Serena. I paid deep attention to my mind and my reactions. The reactions not only within me, but also the facial expressions, and the way I would move my physical body in order to communicate that something wasn’t agreeing with me. This non agreement wasn’t because I chose it, but it was due to the code. It was quite hard at the beginning. Almost like telling a lefty not to use the left hand from then on and only the right. The system has to re-wire itself and it is not something as easily done. Luckily, at the beginning I didn’t have many instances where I was put face to face with the code. Things changed during the very first night of an Ayahuasca retreat we were part of.

We were told to arrive at a specific time and dinner was going to be served. So this is when the code activated itself even more. I immediately assumed whatever was going to be served was going to be vegan... again... the labels. Well, let me tell you that it wasn’t. It was vegetarian. Ha ha ha. I received the bowl and saw this orange yellow thing in the soup. My mind freaked out.

“Is this an egg?”

Yup! It definitely was an egg.

“Fuck! It is all over this thing... I can’t... I can’t possibly...”

I caught myself. I took a deep breath and remembered Serena. No food is bad or good. It just is. Take a deep breath. Ok. Good. I saw myself staring at the bowl of food as I was calming my mind and trying to stop the “You can’t eat this” thoughts. They were SOO strong. I looked at Amor. I needed some validation that I could get through this. Yes! This is how strong the code was! He didn’t even look at me. He was completely enjoying the meal.

“Ok. Ok. Ok. You got this.”

I began to eat but I still felt my face morphing into the “ew” face.

“Calm yourself. It is just food.”

Slowly I continued to eat it. I forced myself to eat some of the egg but immediately my system went into shock because it was something you absolutely cannot do when you had labeled yourself as “vegan.”

I definitely didn’t finish it. I completely freaked out inside. I absolutely did not like the feeling. First, because the food was made with love. Second, I watched everyone around eating, they seemed to be enjoy it, and nothing in their faces showed a struggle. So I was the only one struggling to eat something just because it had some egg in it. Nope. I did not like it at all. I felt the code so deep. It was in control. It was in absolute control of my system and for me that is a big no no.

During one of the ceremonies in the retreat, the Mother addressed that:

“It is not what you eat that matters, but how it was cooked. Is it cooked with love? From which space is the idea of feeding someone coming from?”

This blew my mind. I began to think about our plant medicine family. In the little time I have been around them, I have noticed their deep love for existence. You truly get to know someone when you are going through a journey and someone else is taking care of not only you but everyone else that is a part of it. Their faces came to my mind and I felt their deep unconditional love. The love which drives what they do; their service to humanity.

“Ok. Ok.” I can understand that. In a sense I did understand. The fact that I was being like “Ewww! I CANNOT put this in my system!” Was separating the beautiful things the Creator had gifted us. It was a slap in the face saying to Him “this right here is poop!” And it’s not at all. Everything is equally beautiful.

Now, I will share something with you. Please keep your mind open. That is all I ask.

Amor and I have been doing this super powerful meditation for Global Sadhana. Pretty much since the very first day, I have gone under trances. Some of them are quite intense, some are beautiful, some are very gentle. A couple of days ago, I got a message about this code. It made sense, in a very funky way. Here it goes:

If animal farming and animal killing did not exist, would the vegan code even be here? Please just hear me out, because just like you might feel at this moment, I shared that feeling when I heard the message. The fact that the world reached a point where animals are just being farmed and killed to feed most humans in this planet in a sense gave birth to this code. In a sense, it helped people wake up. Why might you ask? First, for seeing how unfair it is for animals. Yes, it is unfair. I completely agree with it. Imagine a world with things reversed. A world where animals farmed humans to eat them, because... why not? They gotta eat, no? So at seeing this unfairness and even perhaps the look in their eyes as they are in a cage knowing, KNOWING they are about to be killed, shifted something within some people’s systems.

This is completely impactful especially when someone feels so much. Now, if the farming hadn’t existed, would the vegan code be so prominent? Perhaps, perhaps not. Perhaps it wouldn’t even exist. Perhaps it would be the norm and it is not even a label. It would just be the normality. So in a sense, without this massacre of animals, most people that labeled themselves as vegans wouldn’t have woken up to a potential within them. This doesn’t mean that eating the way they choose to eat is the only right way. Yes, it is in their system, not in everyone’s. This is very important to remember. Perhaps the path of the ones who farm animals is to do exactly what they are doing to bring forth this revolution and evolution within some. When we look at this from this perspective, in a way, they must be thanked.

I know it sounds so incredibly messed up, but would you stand up for that strong belief within yourself if it hadn’t existed? Would you protest against animal rights? Would you stand outside a butcher store and call the people working there names if such a thing hadn’t even existed? Now... that’s big.

For me for example, I feel deeply, more than you can imagine; more than I can imagine at times. I cannot even kill a fly or watch someone else kill an insect. As a matter of fact, they speak to me and ask for protection. When this happens, I take them outside and let them be in their natural environment. Even when I sweep and by accident I sweep an insect... you know how much that hurts me? I tune into their feelings and it is not fun at times. I even apologize. As silly as that might sound to you. Why? Because I know I am not separate from them. I know that even though I am having a human experience and them an insect experience, we all come from the same Source. That being said, I don’t call myself a vegan anymore.

I choose to eat according to what my system needs. No, this does not mean I eat meat. What I like eating the most is juice and raw veggies with hummus and guacamole. However, I no longer make a face when something is not vegan. I no longer see food as “This is horrible!” Or “This is the greatest thing ever!” I see food as how it is. I see my system as how it is. If it sees something and it wants to try it, ok try it. Why limit your own beautiful experience based on such a deep code that runs from beyond what we can understand?

No. I choose not to live based on coding. I choose to live in freedom experiencing life the way I want and choose to experience it, not the way the collective energy is telling me how to live it. I choose to be free from every single code in this system. I choose freedom from limited beliefs and programmings. I choose to be. I choose to be this organism in its most pure essence, existing in this own way and leading a revolution of consciousness.

I choose the following words:

I am what I am and that is that.

My Guardians: An Unconditional Love Beyond Human

I sit on my desk as I listen to Simrit sing "Sat Narayan" and at the same time the melody of the rain. Life is truly beautiful when we surrender to its flow and to the messages that might seem hidden. Messages are always coming through in one way or another. The rain has its one language. She speaks. So does the Sun and the Moon. The way one person lays down says a lot about the mental state of that particular moment. The way the eyes shine or not. The way one walks. The way a doggie looks at you. I can go on and on and on about different kinds of languages and messages. There is one kind I would like to concentrate on today.

I sat at this specific chair that morning. I was journaling as I watched attentively our garden. Something caught my attention as I listen to the subtleties of the trees and the fruits. I had to move side to side to make sure I was actually seeing what I thought I was seeing. I saw giant white wings. They looked like the ginormous leaves of a banana tree. We have tons of those in the garden. The wings were near them. Hence the movement to make sure I wasn't making things up. As we know, the mind likes to play tricks. I thought that somehow the Sun was hitting the leaves stronger than ever and it was making them seem they were white. Yet these "leaves" did not move. Neither were they leaning like the rest; they were pointing straight up.

I put my pen down on my journal and paid more attention to what my eyes were seeing and what my heart was feeling. Something within said,

"Go outside."

I did.

The moment I reached the porch that overlooks to the garden, something grabbed my hand and took me down towards a spot that Amor and I go quite frequently to watch the sunset and talk. It didn't scared me at all. The energy felt very similar. Perhaps if it had been the first time that something beyond my eyes could see held me, I might've freaked out a bit. However, this has happened multiple times before.

When we reached the spot, we sat down. I was sitting to the left of my Guardian Angel. I knew his presence. The first time he appeared to me, I was laying down on the couch breathing while a friend watched TV in my house in Las Vegas. He placed my hands on my heart and introduced himself. He didn't need much introduction after that. I know his energy. I say him because the name he introduced himself with, is considered a masculine name.

He began to talk to me about my path and how great I am doing staying on top of things. Although most things he said are very personal, there is one thing I do want to share about the conversation.

"Thanks for investigating and coming out of the house. I knew you would."

"Part of me thought it was a banana leave shinning super bright, but I knew better. Something within said to come out and I did."

"I am very glad."

"However, I am wondering why at this moment I am not seeing your wings and I'm just feeling your presence."

"You would freak out if you saw my eyes. You are not ready yet."

"Try me." What a human thing to say.

"You will soon. We are very proud of you. You've come a long way."

"Thank you. I know. It's been beyond intense."

"We know. Keep it up."

"Of course."

"You are meant to do great things and you will. You already are."

"Thank you. I know. I feel it. It humbles me. It transforms my heart into a heart that is beyond human. I have a hard time communicating at times. I feel I speak in code."

"Ha ha ha. Yes, indeed you do. The right ones will understand it."

A day or two later, Amor and I were listening an interview of Joe Dispenza about Light Beings helping him in his courses. This topic completely fascinates me as I have had the experience of these Light Beings helping me through my process. What truly caught my attention was his description of them:

Very tall white beings with a very strong presence.

Tall white beings... I have seen them before...

He said they can't lower their vibrations to meet the "normal" human vibrations because that would mean to lose themselves. Therefore, they ask humans to meet them in the middle. If they were to lower their vibrations to a human level, they might lose themselves, as in stop existing. This is something they don't do as they love themselves so much.

Tall white beings...

A few years ago in 2013, I was suicidal. I was at home, went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and went to the room. Apparently I wasn't sneaky enough because my roommate told my husband at the time and he rushed home from work. Yes, the intentions of grabbing the knife was to end this precious life of mine. The knives we had, were not just regular knives, but chef knives. Very very very sharp.

To be completely honest, till this day I am not quite sure what happened. It is all blurry but one part. The door opened, three ginormous white beings entered. I didn't like their presence. They were on a mission and it scared me. They walked like the owned the room. They walked so fiercely and so sure of themselves. They did not even say a word as they moved towards the bed were I was laying freaking out with Matt. One immediately went to my legs and held my ankles down. The other one went to my head and held it down. Matt pushed down on my shoulders. I screamed as the other one was coming towards my face. I tried to move around and throw a fit for them to let me go. I couldn't. I couldn't move. Their strength was beyond human and what in the world was Matt doing?!?! He should be helping me.

The one holding my head down opened up my mouth and there was absolutely nothing I could do to either stop it or close my mouth. I saw the other one approaching me with a syringe. I freaked out even more. I was so scared. I was so scared.

"Who are these people?! What are they doing to me?!"

I was injected in my palate with something. Whatever it was made me pass out. When I woke up, I was in Matt's arms. The door was open. I looked around confused.

"Did anybody come to the room?"

"No," he replied.

However, they had. I knew they had because the suicidal tendencies were no longer there. Rather than feeling hopeless and lifeless, I felt full of unconditional love. Matt saw it too. He saw my eyes and could tell something in me had shifted.

As Joe Dispenza kept talking about it, that memory came up. I understood why my Guardian Angel had said I'd freak out if I saw his eyes. I was gonna recognize him and it was gonna take me back to that experience. The next morning I talked to him.

"We had done the math and we had a specific amount of time in which we needed to do what was necessary to help you. We knew you were gonna kill yourself. It wasn't your time yet. You were making it so difficult."

"I was scared. I didn't know what was going on."

"Yes. We know."

"Joe Dispenza said..."

"Yes. We got back right on time. It was a chance we were willing to take for you. We are your Guardians."

I was speechless. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude came through. They... they... put their own existence in the line to help me... they almost lost themselves. All of this was done by the unconditional love to me... to ME. And to think that at those moments, I felt so lonely and that noone ever cared for me. Yet, they were there watching over me, guiding me even though I couldn't see them or feel them. My Guardians not only were there at every step of the way, but they sacrificed their own existence for ME.

To help ME.

To save ME.

Gratitude doesn't even cut it.

So I sit here sharing this experience with an immense heart. A heart that once thought it was just a human heart and now knows it goes beyond it. A heart that if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here writing these words. A heart that is never alone. A heart that when looking at things from the bigger perspective of life, is not even mine or theirs. It's OURS.

💞💞💞

Estoy sentada en mi escritorio escuchando la canción "Sat Narayan" de Simrit y al mismo tiempo, la melodía de la lluvia. La vida es completamente hermosa cuando nos rendimos a su flujo y a los mensajes que parecen estar escondidos.
Los mensajes siempre vienen de una manera u otra. La lluvia tiene su propio idioma. Ella habla como el Sol y La Luna. La manera como una persona se echa dice bastante del estado mental en el cual está en ese momento. La manera como los ojos brillan o no. La manera como uno camina. La manera como un perrito te mira. Puedo seguir y seguir con los ejemplos de diferente tipos de lenguajes y mensajes. Hay un tipo en el cual me quiero concentrar hoy.

Esa mañana estaba sentada en esta misma silla. Estaba escribiendo en mi diario mientras también prestaba bastante atención a nuestro jardín. Algo me llamó la atención mientras escuchaba la sutiles de los árboles y frutas. Tuve que moverme de lado a lado para confirmar lo que pensaba haber visto. Vi unas alas blancas gigantes. Parecían las hojas gigantes de un árbol de plátano. Tenemos tantos de estos en el jardín. Las alas estaban cerquísimas a ellos. Por eso me movía tanto para saber que no me estaba imaginando cosas. Como sabemos, a la mente le encanta jugar. Pensé que fácil la luz del Sol brillaba tanto en las hojas que hacía que parezcan blancas. La cosa es que estas "hojas" no se movían. Y no estaban inclinadas como las demás pero derechitas.

Solté mi lapicero y lo puse en mi diario para poder prestar más atención a lo que mis ojos estaban viendo y a lo que mi corazón estaba sintiendo.
Algo dentro de mí me dijo,

"Anda afuera."

Lo hice.

Cuando llegué al porche que mira desde arriba al jardín, algo agarró mi mano y me guió hacia el lugar donde Amor y yo vamos frecuentemente a ver la postada del sol. No me dió nada de miedo. La energía que sentí fue bien conocida. Fácil si esto hubiera pasado por primera vez, sí que me hubiera asustado y harto. Pero ya ha pasado bastantes veces.

Cuando llegamos al lugar nos sentamos. Me senté al costado izquierdo de mi Ángel Guardián. Conozco su presencia. La primera vez que se me apareció, estaba echada en el sofá respirando mientras una amiga veía televisión en mi casa en Las Vegas. Él puso sus manos en mi corazón y se presentó. Después de eso no necesitaba más introducciones. Conozco su energía. Digo él porque el nombre con el cual se introdujo es un nombre masculino.

Él empezó a hablarme de mi camino y el buen trabajo que estoy haciendo con todas las cosas. Aunque la mayoría de las cosas que dijo son bien personales, quiero compartir una de ellas.

"Gracias por investigar y salir de la casa. Sabia que ibas a venir."

"Parte de mí pensó que era una hoja de plátano brillando bastante, pero supe mejor. Algo dentro de mí me dijo que salga y lo hice."

"Me da mucho gusto."

"Aunque en este momento me estoy preguntando por qué no veo tus alas y sólo siento tu presencia."

"Te asustarias bastante si vieras mis ojos. No estás lista todavía."

"Inténtalo." Que cosa tan humana de decir.

"Las verás pronto. Estamos muy orgullosos de tí. Has pasado por tantas cosas."

"Gracias. Lo sé. Ha sido mucho más que intenso."

"Lo sabemos. Continúa con todo."

"Por supuesto."

"Has venido acá para hacer grandes cosas y lo harás. Ya lo estás haciendo."

"Gracias. Lo sé. Lo siento. Me da más humildad. Transforma mi corazón a un corazón más que humano. Aveces se me hace difícil comunicarme. Siento que hablo en código. "

" Ja ja ja. Si, ciertamente lo haces. Los adecuados lo entenderán. "

Un día o dos días después, Amor y yo estábamos escuchando una entrevista de Joe Dispenza sobre Seres de Luz ayudándole en sus cursos. Este tema me fascina ya que estos Seres me han ayudado tanto en mi proceso. Lo que realmente me llamó la atención fue la descripción de estos Seres:

Seres blancos y muy altos con una presencia bien fuerte.

Seres blancos y altos ... los he visto antes...

Él dijo que dichos Seres no pueden bajar sus vibraciones para llegar a las vibraciones "normales" humanas porque eso significaría que se perderían. Por lo tanto, ellos les piden a los humanos de encontrarse en la mitad. Si ellos bajan sus vibraciones a un nivel humano, se podrían perder; osea dejar de existir. Esto es algo que no hacen ya que se aman tanto.

Seres altos y blancos...

Hace un par de años en el 2013, yo era suicida. Estaba en la casa, fui a la cocina, agarré un cuchillo y me fui al cuarto. Aparentemente no lo hice a escondidas porque mi compañero de piso llamó al que era mi esposo y él regresó a la casa al toque. Sí, la intención que tenía era de quitar la bella vida que tengo. Los cuchillos que teníamos no eran cuchillos normales sino cuchillos de chef. Muy muy muy afilados.

Honestamente hasta este día no sé exactamente lo que pasó. Todo está súper borroso menos una parte. La puerta se abrió y tres seres súper gigantes blancos entraron. No me gustó la presencia de ellos. Tenían una misión y eso me asustó. Caminaron como si fuera su cuarto. Caminaron ferozmente y bien seguros de sí mismos. No dijeron ninguna palabra mientras se acercaban a la cama donde estaba echada con Matt volviéndome loca. Inmediatamente uno se acercó a mis piernas y me agarró los tobillos. El otro se fue hacia mi cabeza y la aguantó. Matt puso presión en mis hombros para no poder moverlos. Grité cuando me di cuenta que el otro se estaba acercando hacia mi cara. Intenté de moverme y soltarme de ellos pero no pude. No me pude mover para nada. La fuerza de estos seres era más que humana. Y que cosa estaba haciendo Matt?!? Me debería de ayudar.

El que mantenía mi cabeza abrió mi boca y no pude hacer nada para pararlo o cerrarla. Vi que el otro se me acercaba con una jeringa. Me asusté mucho más. Tenía tanto miedo. Tanto miedo.

"Quienes son estas personas?! Y que me están haciendo?!"

Me inyectaron en mi paladar con algo. Fuera lo que fuera me hizo perder el conocimiento. Cuando me desperté estaba en los brazos de Matt. La puerta estaba abierta. Miré alrededor del cuarto confundida.

"Alguien entró al cuarto?"

"No," respondió él.

Sin embargo, sí que entraron. Supe que sí habían entrado porque mis tendencias suicidas ya no estaban en mi sistema. En vez de sentirme sin esperanza y sin vida, me sentía llena de amor incondicional. Matt también se dió cuenta. Él vió mis ojos y supo que algo había cambiado en mí.

Mientras Joe Dispenza seguía hablando del tema, esta memoria regresó. Entendí porque mi Ángel de la Guardia me había dicho que me iba a asustar si veía sus ojos. Lo iba a identificar y eso me iba a regresar a esa experiencia. El día siguiente hablé con él.

"Hicimos el cálculo y teníamos un tiempo limitado en el cual teníamos que hacer lo necesario para ayudarte. Sabíamos que te ibas a quitar la vida. No era tu tiempo todavía. Hiciste todo más difícil de lo que tenía que ser."

"Tenía mucho miedo y no sabía lo que estaba pasando."

"Sí. Lo sabemos."

"Joe Dispenza dijo..."

"Sí. Regresamos a tiempo. Era la única oportunidad y estábamos dispuestos a tomarla por ti. Somos tus Guardianes."

Me quedé sin palabras. Una enorme sensación de gratitud llenó mi ser. Ellos... ellos... pusieron su existencia en el fuego para ayudarme... casi se pierden. Todo esto fue hecho por el amor incondicional hacia mí... hacia MÍ. Y pensar que en esos momentos me sentía tan sola y que a nadie le importaba. Pero ellos me estaban protegiendo y guiándome aunque no los podía ni ver ni sentir. Mis Guardianes no solamente estuvieron ahí conmigo todo el tiempo sino que sacrificaron sus propias existencias por mí.

Para ayudarme.

Para salvarme.

Decir que tengo tanta gratitud no se compara a lo que siento.

Sentada comparto esta experiencia con un corazón tan inmenso. Un corazón que alguna vez pensó que solo era un corazón humano y ahora es mucho más que eso. Un corazón que si no fuera por ellos, no estaría aquí escribiendo estas palabras. Un corazón que nunca ha estado sólo. Un corazón que si se ve desde una perspectiva más grande de la vida, no es ni mío ni de ellos. Es de nosotros.

The Mirror of Life - Always showing you the depth of your beauty

Last week, Amor and I returned from a truly intense yet beautiful experience : a 5 day Ayahuasca Retreat. For those who do not know what Ayahuasca is, it is a Master Plant. Indigenous people from the Amazon have been working with her for centuries; she shows you aspects of your darkness in a way that you can accept it, and “put your shit together.” 

We had known prior to coming to Colombia that such a retreat would be extremely powerful, however we could not have imagined its magnitude. I will not go into details of my entire experience.  Somehow, I believe that won’t be as helpful for you all as it was for me. The main reason is because, it was MY experience and you can imagine it all you want but until you experience it yourself, your imagination will not provide the benefits of sitting through an Ayahuasca journey and allowing the Mother to guide you through it.

What I will talk about is one of the things she showed me and told me; something I deeply believe we all need to hear perhaps more than once a week ... I know for myself, I needed to hear that way more often. That being said, let’s get to it, shall we?

It was our last ceremony and it was a morning one. I truly resonated so much with the Sun God and Mother Nature during these kinds of ceremonies. After receiving the medicine and sitting with her on the porch with the rest of what I can call now, my friends, I decided to go back to my little space in the garden, underneath two beautiful trees that had guided me so much during the first afternoon ceremony.

I was very surprised by my new strength in surrendering to the Mother and being able to stay present with my breath, rather than going into trances and allowing my own Kundalini energy to take over. As I sat with my feelings and gratitude for not going into the dark, yet still acknowledge it and loving it, the Mother began to talk to me:

“Life has always been showing you the beauty of your being”

Yet, I had never truly paid attention to that, as I had been stuck in being jealous of other’s beauty... external beauty. She showed me a memory that I remember way too well and it made me feel silly and laugh at myself. Here it is:

When I was young and still living in Lima, Peru, one of my best friends was a girl that had just moved from Italy with her family.  Her and her brother enrolled in Antonio Raimondi, the Italian school in Lima I was attending.

This girl was and still is extremely beautiful, in and out. However, since I was caught in my own shit of not feeling or seeing my own external beauty, I always envied her. It was almost like she was perfect ... and truly, we all are... everyone loved her.  She was funny, easy going and had a ginormous heart. I believed that being around her could make me popular (ego coming out), but I truly adored her. Somehow, she got me and we immediately clicked.

One time, she was invited to a party where my crush was going as well. Of course my jealous bar went super high up and I didn’t know what to do. 

YES, I wanted to go to the party.

YES, the fact that I wasn’t invited made me feel more ugly.

YES, I was super jealous of her for being the “new girl” at school and getting all the attention.

YES, my ego was furious.

YES

YES

YES AND MORE YES.

I had come over and she was asking me for suggestions on what to wear. Ok... imagine my feelings. No, I didn’t want to help. As a matter of fact, I wanted her to look as hideous as possible... knowing... that wasn’t even an option, because there was no possible way she could ever be hideous.  She was gorgeous! 

So here is where my ego came out and fully began to run the show.

Instead of telling her which outfit she looked the best on, I opted for the one that wasn’t as cute. Of course, once again, it wasn’t that she didn’t look cute, the outfit I told her about wasn’t as sexy as the other one. My heart sunk. I knew what I had done to the one person I called my best friend.   To the one that I shared so many memories with and even got best friends charms... what in the world had I just said to her?!

However, never once did I take my word back. I let it be.

I remembered, going back home and feeling so shitty not only for my choice of words but also because I knew how much fun she was going to have while I sat at home feeling so sorry about myself. Oh youth!

As I watched the memory, her face, my reactions and feelings, the Mother spoke,

“She was mirroring to you your own beauty. It wasn’t that she was the only beautiful girl, she was trying to express and communicate to you how extraordinary the beauty of your own being is.”

I smiled and felt so silly. 

I felt so silly because of course she was showing me how beautiful I am, 

OF COURSE!! 

But having lived in such a society, remembering how much I had been made fun of for being fat and “not pretty,” not only from my family but also my so called friends; that was the only thing that was in my mind constantly. I didn’t have in my mind,

“Oh, I’m so pretty”, 

but 

“Ew! I’m so ugly, not worth anything and hideous! Of course no one wants to date me!.”

Mother continued,

“Life has always shown you the depth of your beauty. Constantly. In every second of your life, in every experience you have had, there was life mirroring to you how extremely beautiful you are in and out.”

WOW! 

Just, 

WOW!

At that moment, the movie of my life so far, played in my head. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude covered my entire being. Gratitude for that one friend, gratitude for every moment of my life, gratitude for myself and gratitude for all my experiences whether they were painful or blissful. I began to think,

“ How many of us, just go around life thinking how hideous we are, missing this one powerful point? Missing that in reality, life is not only mirroring to us what we need to work on, but also, how incredibly beautiful/handsome we all are!?”

WOW!

WOW Mother WOW!

It all made so much more sense. 

ALL OF IT!

I stayed in that space, admiring Nature, admiring life and myself, with so much unconditional love and gratitude for every single breath I have taken and will continue to take. 

Gratitude. Period. Gratitude.

So, this is my message and a powerful reminder to you all:

It doesn’t matter what you have gone through in life, how many people have hurt you, how many people you have hurt, what was said to you, what you said. It doesn’t matter. What truly matters is this moment in time, what we call the present moment and the beauty of life itself. How many of us go in our heads about our mistakes, our pains and hurts and totally forget to see the actual beauty of our beings?

You ARE beautiful!

You ARE powerful!

Life is CONSTANTLY showing you how truly beautiful you are.

ALWAYS

What a miracle that is!

So, pay attention, open up your heart and realize that despite of how you have felt in the past, there is an extraordinary beauty within you and around you. You are unique and that uniqueness gives power for your strength to come forth.  That uniqueness is what is needed in this world.  That uniqueness transforms your being and allows it to express itself in its own way. That uniqueness is what we all see,

The true YOU

I love you. 

I know you have been hurt, just like I have, but at this moment in time, what is needed is our strength. What is needed is for us to own our uniqueness and work together as a team, whether we have met physically or not. 

What is needed is US! 

Being ourselves and showing the rest of the world that we don’t need to be like everybody else to feel ok. What is needed is to show the unconditional love for the Self as we surrender to our truth and allow ourselves to BE.

To BE

So much love to you all.

So much love and thank you so much for mirroring me how extraordinary I am and for being in this not so gentle rollercoaster we call life. 

I am deeply grateful for all your presences.

THANK YOU.

Surrendering to the Flow of Life - An inner Dialogue

There come times in our life when life itself as we might perceive it, doesn't seem to be enough.

Is it truly not enough? Or is it an askew perception of what life truly is?

What if life itself is the most perfect representation of an unconditional love the greatest "being" is giving birth to?

What if life is being moved by That Which Is?

What if life is a constant movement of the perfection of a wave that shifts as it becomes more aware of itself?

What if thinking and perhaps feeling that life is not enough, opens up the space for life itself to be experienced in a way that is utterly perfect?

So here comes the thoughts.

The thoughts of an aware being that continuously opened up the space to be constantly aware as the shifts increased day by day.

When I was younger, I often felt completely different, in the sense that someone could possibly understand me. So I chose to hide, to hide in the depth of the uncertainty that was growing within.

I didn't realize how so not different I was until I ran away from my partner at the time, my family, my friends and the city I had called home for so many years. Asia for sure showed me that although I had been different in some extend, I was also equally as similar to some that had felt the exact same thing pretty much all their lives.

This was the moment that shifted A LOT of things. I had felt at home in so many ways before, but there was something unlike this feeling of home that I hadn't felt before.

I want to share something with you and please open up your minds and your heart in ways that perhaps you haven't done before, especially if you have "known" me personally for a while.

Although I had been living my life in what I called truth, I truly hadn't. No, it's not that I wasn't faking it, I honestly thought the one running the show was me, my true identity. However. The more I grew, the more I realized how something completely different than the actual ME, had been living MY life ... up until recently.

In Asia, in Thailand and The Philippines, I met extraordinary people. People that spoke like me, people that at times didn't need to speak, yet the conversation was still flowing. There was something beyond the spoken words, something in the space in between words and in the silence.

People that have done the work I was going through and I'm going through and can say "Oh ya, I went through that as well," making it seem like, it's "normal;" part of the process. Hearing such words made me think,

"Thank God. I guess I am not crazy nor I ever was!"

Can you picture the relieve I sensed? After so many years thinking that I was some kind of alien in this Planet. 😂😂😂

Following one's heart's desire is not as simple as eating a piece of cake ... well ok... that perhaps is not as easy either! 😜😂 but if we wanna talk about it ....

How many codes have been engraved in our systems? How many programmings since before we even know when existence truly began or what that word actually means? What is stored in our cells and DNA that prevent us and make it challenging to discover the greatness that is inside us all?

Wow... some deep questions.

Yes.

They truly are!

These are questions that pop in my mind as I see processes dissolve right in front of my eyes. Questions that would have appeared in a different manner if I hadn't met "my tribe" in Asia.

When someone tells you,

"Welcome home dear"

And your entire being tingles, you KNOW you have found home and the longing for it stops. Because you just know.

How did it all begin?

As I said, I ran away. Do most people ran away or they choose to stay?

I can't comment about others, but I can about this system; the system I call my own.

It reached a point where it needed to explore and not explore the world (it just came with it, which I am super grateful for it), but explore itself and find itself through such exploration.

It began to think,

"There must be something "else" there"

As the call to go back to Asia was so strong. There was such a magnetic pull that could not be ignored. So it chose itself.

It chose to allow its essence to guide and float in the pool of rivers that will lead it to the ones whom had been waiting for it.

It chose to flow with what we call life.

Was it easy?

Hell no, it wasn't easy. At times, it's still not easy, yet it understands.

It understands that codes are being re-discovered and broken. It understands that its TRUE essence is coming forth and guiding every step of the way if allowed. It also understands that at times the same codes that are being broken can seem to take charge if loosing the sight of things.

So where does the balance come from?

In this system, the balance comes from trusting there is nothing broken within, but in such a perfection as things are coming to the surface bringing more awareness.

The balance comes from knowing and seeing even if it was only for a split second where it came from and why it chose to come here.

The balance comes from accessing the space in between and traveling throughout the night to places that are thought to be imaginary.

The balance comes from that unconditional love that goes beyond what those two words convey; a love which moves it all.

The balance from knowing that you and me and everybody else, although seem to think are experiencing something completely different, in reality aren't.

The knowing that in a space where everything gets moved with such care and something beyond love, separation doesn't exists and in that space creation gets dissolved to its specific point:

NOTHINGNESS

Teleportation

I have always been intrigued by teleportation. I remember many years ago, I started saying that I was gonna get teleportation down... in a moment when I was stuck in heavy traffic and I felt impatient. Never did I think, at that time with that awareness, I was actually going to.

What if... what if I told you that we are constantly teleporting? But it's a different kind, not the one we attached a specific definition to a word that might have a different meaning.

When we start to approach life with curiosity and noticing that not only we are creating our realities but also that multiple lives (ours) are happening all consecutively, we can begin to consciously learn what we are meant to learn, release or bring more awareness into someone's life; which will not only benefit them, but also ourselves and all of us a a whole.

I invite you to open your mind a little bit more with me today.

The concept of time, is just a concept and it gives us tunnel vision that we are meant to break out of in order to fully wake up. When we start to break out of the "normality" of life, we can begin to see the simulation we are in.

There are SOO many rules in life. Have you even wondered who placed them there? Have you ever thought that perhaps "they" were limiting you so you wouldn't tune in into your truth and the infinite powers of your being?

However, when we go back about the simulation of life and being the architects of your own reality, we know that we had also designed the rules, the tunnel vision, the forgetting for one specific purpose: to be grateful of the awakening.

I used to think that I would feel so much different and have so many super powers when waking up... which I do, they are just not the definition we attached to those words... attaching... we seem to believe that there is only one way of seeing things, one definition, that everything is set. I ask you this then:

With such limited beliefs, how would you invite your unlimited ones to your current Self?

The very first thing one must practice is dropping such beliefs and expand the mind to different and unlimited possibilities. As everything else, with practice, things get easier. The practice will bring confrontation which is expected; the only way to allow something to fully come out is to feel it, thank it and let it go. Such confrontation can be difficult, if one continues to attach itself to the limited belief in question or somewhat easy if the subject consciously goes into the releasing mode knowing that things will arise, being part of the process.

The longer the confrontation goes for, the longer the limited belief is "winning" its battle.

Compassion is the main key in this process. Compassion will help leading the way as the subject continues to shed layers upon layers of the being he or she thought to be. This technique can be easy forgotten at times if the limited belief is a core belief and the subject has been battling with it for years, perhaps even centuries.

The remembrance of compassion will always take the subject back to the lit road and things will seem easier.

Once these core beliefs begin to detached themselves from the subject, light enters through parts that had been hidden prior to the detachment. This is when things begin to flow easily.

At this moment, the subject has so much awareness that can pin point different things for its growth. It no longer attaches to limited believes and even if one comes up for somebody else, it's easily recognized.

Now, this is the moment where surrender has already worked its magic. As things become more recognized day after day, the subject can see what is happening and how the Universe is giving us everything we want ALL the time.

The Universe is always clearing the roads for us to walk through and reach our dream lives. Many times the roads are dirty, rocky and as they get cleaned, things arise, we release and continue on the path of consciousness.

There is a moment in what we call life when awareness is such that the subject starts to connect with the different versions of the Self in other lifetimes. When this connection gets strong, the subject begins to feel when it teleports to a different Self for whatever reason it might be.

I would like to share an awareness I had about this two days ago. As I was sitting in one of my besties "couch" (it's not really your traditional looking couch), observing the interaction of my friends, I noticed why I had been so tired and quite uncomfortable since my arrive to Las Vegas: I had been teleporting, entering the physical body of the Self that lives in the reality of Las Vegas.

I know it might sound crazy to some of you, but go back to one of the firsts things I said at the beginning about opening your mind and bare with me. I'll even give you an unicorn for some magic! 😉🦄😏

Ok... I hadn't been easy to be back, yet I couldn't placed my fingers on what it was, because I knew I was SUPER EXCITED to be back.

As I was sitting watching my friends, I felt it all. I felt that I had been uncomfortable in my own skin because the current Self, the one who is typing this blog, had a higher awareness than the one that lives here. There is nothing wrong with that, we grow and period.

Sitting there, I felt the teleportation starting to complete its action. Of course it's not gonna be instant, specially when a different awareness comes through and its rooting itself in a physical body that had a completely different level of awareness.

It was uncomfortable

It made me cry

It made be more grateful

It made speechless

And it made me love my life and myself even deeper.

It was

COMPLETELY

BEAUTIFUL

And the thing is:

WE ARE CONSTANTLY DOING IT!!

😱!

😍!

When we asked for something, we start to shed the layers that no longer serve us in order to reach the life we want to live and the Universe works its magic to make that reality real.

So, just life Phil Good says "we pick up the phone, call a Self in another reality so that Self can help us and guide us."

IT TRULY IS JUST LIKE THAT!

Since things might not seem to be working, sometimes we give up way too early, but that doesn't mean things are not being worked out behind the scenes. The Universe is always working for us with us.

ALWAYS

All you have to do is believe.

BELIEVE

What you ask for gets fulfilled, all it's needed is patience. As my grandpa used to say:

"Paciencia y buen humor"

"Patience and good humor"

That's all it takes loves; THAT and truly believing in your potential to manifest the life of your dreams. There is nothing more powerful than a human being and the reason is simple:

You are not just a human

Feel the connection to Infinity

Feel the connection to Source

Feel the connection with your heart

Let it go

Let go of control

Let go of expectations

Surrender

Surrender and Trust


Surrender

And

Trust

💜💜💜

My Post Water Fasting Journey

It's been a week and a day since I finished my 10 day water fasting and I am still feeling the benefits of such.

When I first looked up about it, literally the first day of the fast, the one thing that was made super clear was that, the end of the fasting is as important, if not more, than the fast itself. A few days before ending, I began to research about what to eat so I wouldn't mess up my body and have it go into a shock haha ... let's remember that is something I had done so much before my awakening.

The night before the fast ended, I was super excited because of eating ... if there is one thing about me that you can take from this, is that I truly enjoy food. A lot of people have told me they don't believe they can do a water fast for so many days because they "can't" live without food. Trust me, I TOTALLY understand. I am such a foodie... why do you think I spend so much time in the kitchen?! Hahaha although that has changed a bit.

Going back to the story... I couldn't sleep because I was truly excited that after 10 day, I could finally eat. I was a bit nervous given the fact that I hadn't missed the act of eating, yet I was anxious (in a good way) to reintroduce foods to my being.

"Start slow"

I read online. So slow I was starting. For breakfast we went to el Mercado de San Blas, here in Cusco, to get some juice from our caserita (the sweet lady we always get our juices from). We shared a cucumber mint ginger juice that I am not exaggerating when I say that it was the best tasting juice I've had! And yes of course my tastebuds have changed after not eating for 10 days. I remember the first sip... I got completely high on the freshness of this juice and the feeling of gratitude for my juice and how it came to arrive to me took over my being.

Truly, I never thought I was gonna get high with a juice. I guess that is a conformation that the simplicity of things can have a tremendous impact on ourselves. I also had some palta (avocado), which again...

BEST PALTA YET!!

And as we all know...

I LOOOVE palta!!

It was however, difficult to finish it and the juice. My belly got super small, and well of course.

I had read to start eating simple things and introduce yogurt and things with bacterias. I am plant based, so supposedly, plant based yogurts don't have as much bacteria as regular ones. Yet, I still got one; it was way too sweet for me. Another thing I read was to start eating berries... ya I couldn't... again... way too sweet for me. I went for bananas. My body craved them and they felt right being eaten.

My Guides had told me to eat a raw diet for the first days... which to be completely honest, I still am. On the second or third day, I decided to sauté some mushrooms, which I normally adore, but it was too much for my belly. That night, wasn't fun at all. I felt my insides hurting and there came in my Guides saying, again:

"Stay in a raw diet for now"

So I went back to listen to them hahaha

For a couple days, my food was palta, tomatoes, olives, mushrooms, sprinkled with olive oil, salt and pepper. I was completely fine with it and every bite was completely different and still mindblowing. I began to introduce homemade gluten free bread and put the above ingredients on it, as an open face sandwich...

WOW

I remember saying

"BEST SANDWICH EVER!'

And exaggeration?

Definitely not. It truly was.

What caught my attention more than anything, was my relationship with food. As I had said, I am such a foodie, yet at times I would just eat just to eat without tasting anything and truly not being grateful for it. Well... that has changed, not only I truly savor every bite meow, but I am no longer scared of eating or the effect food can have on me.

For more than 15 years, I struggled with anorexia and bulimia. It wasn't fun at all. There were moments that by just eating one cracker, I would freak out, go to the bathroom to throw up and take laxatives...

No, I am not joking.

The relationship I had with food, was horrible. At the same time, I know it was nothing about the food, but about the relationship with myself. I didn't approve of myself. I hated myself and everything about me, so I was destroying myself from the inside out. So, as I found myself eating the simplest meals, truly enjoying them, being grateful for having such ingredients at home, for the people that made it possible for me to have them at that specific moment, for the veggies themselves, I noticed something I hadn't noticed before:

I was completely free from that particular suffering.

Perhaps it was something I had already healed, but the fact that the awareness came through after the fast, I know for sure increased the magnitude of it and the gratitude.

I sat on the dining table with my mouth wide open, truly in Awe! If you have gone through something similar, you know how intense, difficult and extreme, the relationship with food can be, and to have the feeling passing through all my veins, knowing that I had truly made it, put me in tears.

I suffered

I had suffered SOO much due to my views of myself and food. When I say so much, it doesn't even cut it. So to be free, completely free from that suffering is such a miracle.

SUCH A MIRACLE

And I am way more than proud of myself.

As, I said, I am still having mostly a raw diet and eating the simplest foods and meals. I did have a bowl of rice and beans at the market a couple days ago and it was another explosion of deliciousness. I used to complicate my meals, thinking that the more complex, the better they were...

NAH!

The simplest things in life are also the most beautiful.

My Water Fasting Journey - Part 2

Qosqo, Perú

Sunday June 9th 2019

Water Fasting Day 6th

Today is day sixth of the 10 days of water fasting.

Wow!

To be completely honest, I really thought it was gonna be difficult, but it truly hasn't been. Of course at times I feel weak and I need to rest laying down.

The one thing I have noticed, is that my heart rate has increased a bit and it worries me at times. The reason being is that when I was super anemic, that would happen. I would have to sit down and rest if I was walking and then get back up. However, Amor looked it up and that is normal! So good!! I'm fairly new at these things so I am so grateful he is by my side and helping me as much as he can!

I know Amor looked it up, but I had to ask my Guides, since they are always available. I asked them and I asked my entire being, because as I have said before, if a tiny little thing is not favoring myself as a whole, I will stop. I had spent enough years harming me, there is no way I am going back to that. Luckily, the answer was positive.

"Any tips about the fast?"

"You are doing great. Your body is adjusting. You are in ketosis, just be gentle. There is A LOT happening.

Rest.

This is your time to rest; you have been wanting to.

Rest your mind, body and spirit.
Do what you need to do but with care and caution. Your body feels fragile because of the changes, that's why the increase of your heart rate, but you are fine =) "

"Cool. Ya the breathing and heart rate thingy freaked me out a bit"

"And that's normal. You are not used to that. But truly you are ok. The thing now..."

"You mean meow?"

"Meow, you gotta make sure that on Friday you introduce gentle foods. Start with a juice. Ya like the cucumber mint juice... uh huh hierba buena... start with the juice and then raw veggies, probably for the first 2-3 days and see how you feel. Stay in a raw diet for a bit.

Cookies?

Well don't stuff yourself with them and ya the raw dessert you have been wanting to make, you can have some. =) "

"Ok! Muchas gracias!"

At times, I don't have so much energy and I feel like I need to lay down. My back also began to hurt. It reminded me when I was working on my posture (my back used to be so rounded) and it was SUPER uncomfortable to keep my back straight.... interesting... so I really need to rest my back against something, whether is the back of a chair, but the most comfortable is laying down... yet... I can't lay down for the rest of this fast! 😂😂

I still miss cooking! Hahaha so I made a shake and cooked for Amor. Cooking brights up my day even more. I don't miss eating, I think I mostly miss the smell of food lol so I am constantly asking Amor if I can smell his food lol

There is still A LOT of energy moving throughout my being. Last night, it was such a quest to sleep; my neck kept adjusting and releasing things, which is great. It's been doing that way more lately... I'm sure it has something to do with the fast.

Anyways! That's it for today!

Let's see how tomorrow goes!

💖💖🙏




Monday June 10th 2019

Water Fasting Day 7th

Last night, I couldn't sleep. I went to bed tired, yet I woke up at 2am wide awake trying to fall back asleep, but I couldn't, so I opted for talking to one of my lovely friends that is in the Phillipines. Amor's alarm rang at 6.30am and that is the moment where I fell asleep for 2 or 3 hours. The interesting thing is that when I woke up, I had SO much energy.

I got my moon last night and I was a little worried to continue with the fast... that's just me because this is the first time I've done a fast this long for the right reasons. Luckily, we have our friend Google, so it told me that is ok.

I heard my mind at one moment saying:

"Have a shake!"

I truly laughed and said:

"Shut up! We've been fasting for 7 days! That's not safe AT ALL!"

😂😂😂

I do have to admit that is quite fascinating to watch what happens in my being through the process and I am actually enjoying it. The one thing I am a bit nervous about, is the re-introducing food to my body, even though I know what to eat. The fact that I am not hungry at all, makes me feel funky about it.

SOOOO... things changed a bit during the afternoon... hahaha

I had a little meltdown.

All my senses are WAY sharper and that got to me, especially all the noises around...
all the construction, all the loud talking, all the fireworks, just drove me nuts. I began to get irritated and then sad.

I'm gonna be completely honest... it made me sad because I miss being comfortable and I feel so uncomfortable being here. I don't like being cold, I don't appreciate seeing the streets so dirty and how loud it is around. Yet at the same time I know, this is probably me blocking something I need to see and release.

So my mind went to... thank God I will be in the States next month, seeing family, friends, puppies and being warm... I know... this is not being in the present moment. However, all these thoughts became SOO much, I was in bed for a lot of hours listening to music that releases serotonin so I could feel calmer. And then my guides began to speak and give me insights on what was going on with me.

I was born and raised in Lima. Although I did have an amazing time growing up, there were things about it that made me super uncomfortable and that I didn't belong there... which were the loudness of the city, how people sometimes don't have awareness and throw trash on the streets, how nasty men are... all the noises in Cusco, were taking me back to my childhood and freaking me out, which is what needed to come out of me to be free from it.

Crazy... incredibly crazy beautiful what happens within us... and there I was freaking out blaming it in this beautiful city.

HAHAHAHA

Oh well... live and learn!



Tuesday June 11 2019

Water Fasting Day 8th

Today, I was super duper close to end the fast.

Amor and I walked to a Chifa (Peruvian Chinese food place), so he could get some food. The walk there was as normal as it's been since the first days of the fast: I walked slow and was in awe because even though things seem the same, they are super bright. However, the way back home was completely different.

First, let me tell you that this restaurant is super close to home. We have walked these four blocks many times, so it's not like we had walked for hours to get there.

We begin to walk and I was even slower than before. My vision got somewhat blurry, my back was aching more, my breathing was intensely shallow and my heart rate was increasing with every step I took.

I freaked out.

It took me back to when I was super anorexic and super anemic. There was a point in my life where this had happened for lack of nutrition and for self abuse.

No

No

This is not happening

I had promised myself that if at any time during the fast, my being was in danger, whether is a tiny tiny amount or more, I was gonna stop.

I had this in my mind as we walked home. I guess I looked really worried because Amor asked me if I was ok...

No

No

I wasn't

I truly just wanted to lay down.

I didn't wanna walk.

I wanted to lay down on the street and let the feeling pass.

It felt like forever walking home and going up the stairs to our apartment. I was super worried and I knew I had to lay down, to relax.

Luckily, I made it to the bed and my guides began to channel some energy to me. They also explained what was going on.

All those years of self abuse, all those years of malnutrition, were still rooted in my physical body, emotional body and energetic body. All this was coming out as I was walking back home.

ALL of it.

They guided me to relax and breathe. I began to think that of course it wasn't going to be fun for all those years to fully come out of me. It all made sense. Yet, I was still hesitant, but again, I trust fully my Guides and they gave me the choice to stop if I wanted to or to continue.

Regardless, I was gonna be fine.

There was a BIG shift later on the day and what made it happened was Amor and I facilitating innerdance (an energetic soundhealing journey).

I realized that I am WAY more sensitive than I was last week and tuning into the person that was going through the journey was like second nature. As I saw her body moving and her expressions, I saw and felt that life itself, the totality of life, was waking up within her.

This almost put me in tears (actually, it did), witnessing the process, being so grateful for her coming to the sessions every week and feeling so humble.

So humble because at times we believe we are just this physical body, but in reality, we are life itself. We are the totality of the Universe and existence. We are beyond who we think we are. And to see that waking up within a very dear friend of mine, to see that light breaking through the barriers... it's such a miracle, such a

MIRACLE

And I am beyond grateful. For the awareness, for the experience, for myself, for all of us, because we... ALL of US are

THE TOTALITY OF LIFE



Wednesday June 12 2019

Water Fasting Day 9th


Water fasting day 9!!!

WOW YOU GUYS!!!

TOMORROW IS THE LAST DAY!!!

💖💖💗😱😱!!!

SOO... I slept SOOO good last night! Honestly after not being able to sleep for 2 nights, I've gotten the best rest yet!

I guess my body needed it!

Today, while I was doing my morning Sadhana, even though the construction was still happening and loud, it wasn't a big deal! As a matter of fact, I said to myself

"If I can meditated through this, I can meditate through anything!"

My arms moved again and began to do Mudras. This hasn't happened since the fast. Mami Aya told me that Mudras are part of my powers and to listen to my body since it will guide me.

So I did

It was beautiful!

Then we had to run some errands and it was great! I felt so happy like a kid... it might also be because the package we ordered like 2 months ago is finally being released from customs! 😂😂 ... be aware that in this country (Perú) you need a prescription to order Almond flour and Coconut oil....

WHAAAAAT!

yes I know... silliness!

HAHAHAHA

But anyways, my mood is WAY better than yesterday morning and I am super duper excited that tomorrow is the last day and I made it!!

Also, I am looking into what exactly I need to give my body on Friday so it doesn't go into shock... unless I channel Usui and eat a HUUUGE meal and nothing happens!

😂😂😂

My bestie Ali aka Unitwin, sent me some Reiki this morning... I guess I worried her with yesterday's post!

Oopsies!

But again... I would've done the same thing for her!

My face is SUPER clear and soft!! Like a bebe's butt! 🤗 hahaha I remember, during the first days of the fast, my face started to break out on different spots and of course it didn't make me feel any better. But right meow, it truly is clean and clear and the softest it has ever been!

I am extremely proud of myself for not quitting yesterday and for feeling even better than ever! I remember day 2 ... holy shit. It felt like it was miles away and I truly thought it was gonna be the most difficult thing in my life, but just like my Guides said, it wasn't. Of course at times I had my moments but I also know how to "control" them and what tools to do when things like that arrive. In other words, let me say it again:

I AM SUPER PROUD OF MYSELF!!

WOW!

What a change!

I am having so much compassion for myself and more unconditional love. Although it was easy, when I struggled, I kept thinking about the benefits of the fast and of course my Guides were always here for me and with me, telling me exactly what was going on.

Amor told me yesterday when I almost quit, that most people don't hear their guides like I do... I have such an AMAZING team behind the scenes guiding me, explaining to me the difficult times and supporting me, which is completely magical. Without their explanation of what was happening that day, I probably would have quit!

So, Guides:

"I completely love you all and I am super duper grateful!"

💖💖💖

I walked quite a lot today, of course slow, but it was nothing like yesterday. Amor and I went to a coffee shop to get something and then I stayed there journaling and working on The Art of Perseverance. This book is the continuation of The Artist's Way, which I COMPLETELY recommend!

When I was done, I walked even more to pick up some food for Amor and take it home to make him a chicken omelette, which I was super excited about, because:

I MISS COOKING!!

hahaha

Yes, I am Plant Based, but we cannot force others to change their diet, so I don't. If something makes Amor happy, it makes him happy and period. Although, he shredded the chicken because I don't like touching it... I guess that's fair. 😜

Anyways, today has been great! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that tomorrow is the last day and on Friday I can have some palta aka avocado!!

I LOOOOOOVE Palta!!!

🥰🥰🥰

Truly, the past days have made me feel more grateful for myself. Yes, I had moments during the day that I needed to lay down to support my back, but even in those moments, I was super duper grateful!

I love the fact that my skin is super clear; yes I have lost weight and I am also deep in ketosis!

I am truly excited to re-introduce food to my body gently and see how the process continues because it doesn't just end at the 10th day.

This journey has made appreciate more my physical body and my entire being as a whole and also... the power that we have to heal ourselves!

WOW!!

Tomorrow, I will share about the last day and probably throw a party!

HAHAHAHAHA

💖💖💖



Thursday June 13 2019

Water Fasting day 10!!!

Today is the last day of the fast!!!

Yes, I am BEYOND excited that today is the last day, and not only because I get to have palta and light juice tomorrow, but because:

I MADE IT!!!!

🙌🙌🙌

As my guides said,

"It's not gonna be bad"

Yes it wasn't.

I did have my moments but I have also learned SOO much about myself throughout them.

There is still A LOT of energy moving in my back. Things adjusting, and there is still a lot of healing happening in my being which is

TREMENDOUS!!!

🥰💖💗

I'm still in AWE!

One thing I forgot to mention, is that my moon, was the smoothest, caring, pain and cramp free of ALL this life! Which is

AWESOME!

As I said yesterday, I'm excited to eat slowly and with care, knowing that my body is still in this beautiful healing process.

What miracles our bodies and beings are!

TRULY!

Today was such a WONDERFUL day. I still had to rest my back at times, I still had to walk slow at times, but I am here and I am SOOO glad I did it!

Some friends said, go for 2 weeks! My answer was:

NAH!

Perhaps another time, but this time I was guided for 10 days and here I am!

I am truly excited for the next days and honestly ... for life itself.

I've learned to listen deeper to my being. I've understood what works well for it and what doesn't and I have learned my lesson with gluten!

😂😂

My Water Fasting Journey

Qosqo, Perú

Tuesday, June 4 2019

Today I started my 10 day water fasting. Before I begin on how I am feeling at the moment, allow me to give you some background.

I'm pretty sure fasting scared the living shit out of me before, not only because it seems nuts for my family and I grew up with the "You must eat to survive" thing, but also because for so many years I had been anorexic and bulimic. So ya, that's the true.

When I was anorexic, I wouldn't eat... ok maybe a cracker, as in a single cracker and then I would go to the bathroom and make myself throw up that one cracker... I know ... plus taking laxatives ... it wasn't fun at all. It's been years since that ended, but my self esteem still was not fully accepting how I was until last Thursday, May 30th when me and Amor went to the Sacred Valley to have a ceremony with Mami Aya.

I am going to be completely honest; everything I had prayed for to her and other light beings, I received and one of them was to fully forgive myself for all the damage I had caused to my being and to accept who I am.

Yes.

It was hella painful.

HELLA

My organs on the right side of my body had been compressed for, as far as I know, ALL my life. During the ceremony, Mama Aya guided them back to their actual spot.

HELL

IT WAS HELL

I have never, EVER, cried in that way in my life. I would try to move to make the process easier for my body...

NOPE

NOPE

It wasn't supposed to be easy.

I mean, if we really think about it, twenty years or more of self abuse, won't feel good coming out. Lol

NOPE

IT WON'T

Anyways, after it finished it was lovely. I knew what was happening, as she was talking to me about it. So I found more compassion for myself and kept going. The thing is that after a ceremony, you are still processing for days and truly, I wasn't careful with what I was eating. I had some gluten and French fries.

They sound so innocent, but I have known for a bit meow, that my body does not enjoy those kinds of foods. Yet, I had them anyway. So felt shitty the day after. I felt my insides so blowed. It was horrible.

Amor did some energy work on me and during such, I received the message:

"Start a water fasting tomorrow. Your body is still processing and integrating the ceremony. You will feel much better."

So I did.

It's 1pm here in Cusco. I have already done my Meditation practices, journaled, I worked out, Amor and I practiced Yoga and...

I FEEL GREAT!

I do have to admit that at one moment I looked at the kitchen clock and freaked out a little, because I was done with all my work and I had no idea what else to do. I wanted to be in the kitchen occupied, and realized how many hours a day I spend in the kitchen! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE cooking. When you love something you dont really think how much time you are putting into that. So then, to calm my mind, I took a shower.

WOW

I hadn't noticed before that I normally rush my showers. This time, I knew I had pretty much all the time in the world. Time felt so slow. I had the curiosity of a child as I soaped my body, as the water hit and traveled through my body and I was completely amazed of my body itself. I felt so deeply grateful for it and for the state I was in while doing such a simple task we all do.

I had so much inner peace and all I wanted to do was sit in stillness and meditate. I used the bathing time as meditation and it elevated my mood. I was no longer thinking ...

"Shit, what now?"

... but I was back in the present moment enjoying life. I sat in front of Amor while he was having lunch and it seemed as it was one of the very first times I actually had seen him: his beautiful eyes, his presence, the intensity of his look, his hair, his physicality, his energy field; the totality of his being. So much gratitude for him, for myself and our relationship began to circulate through my veins.

So now I find myself in this gratitude highness state that is quite nice, considering how shitty I was feeling last night!

It's 8pm and I'm pooped out! 😂😂 but this is the normal time my being says "Ok rest time" since we wake up quite early.
I have to admit that only right meow I feel this way, throughout the day I was completely fine. Although I did have the feeling that I just wanted to sit down and meditate for hours. I even made cheesecake and didn't have the thought that I wanted to try it. On the way back from the Healing House, that's when I felt a bit hungry.

So after we were done facilitating innerdance, we went to Orion to get more herbal tea and I made us some to chill before passing out. Which I'm pretty sure for me it's about to happen...

MEOW

So, this is not for day one! I'm excited for tomorrow as well! Plus, we since we launched our Avigna Live Classes yesterday, I get to channel a meditation! Which I absolutely LOOOVE.

Okis! Nighty! 💗💗💖💖🙏🦄🔮

Wednesday, June 5th 2019

Today was a bit more difficult and not for the fact that I was hungry, but out of boredom. I found myself doing a bunch of things and when looking at the clock... it was still early.

I did get the best night of sleep last night. It was great! So great. I couldn't get up at 5, which is the time I strive to wake up. When I did, I meditated and I noticed my mind was so sharp. It was easier to concentrate back on my breath if my mind wondered around. I still worked out, I still practiced gentle yoga, I still channeled.

I even made Sunflower Seed spread and a Shake for Amor and the only thing that "sucked" was that I couldn't taste them before giving them to him. I miss cooking. I really do and it might be due to the fact that I normally spend SOOO much time in the kitchen. But truly, I love cooking and tasting things and normally by the time I serve food, I am no longer hungry lol.

One thing that was different today than yesterday was that around 3.30pm I got super emotional and began to cry without even knowing why.

I laid down with my kitty unicorn, my purple rose and my blankie on. I began to cry apologizing to my body for harming her so much and constantly for so many years. Then magic happened. She began to speak to me, not like she had had before. It was super clear, as any conversation I have had with a human or other beings. She said to me

" We were both in pain and there was no way to communicate "

She continue saying that she is healing herself and there is no so much energy being concentrating in digesting food, but on healing work. She said that at this moment, my 3rd eye is fully opening up and I'm gaining control of my mind, rather than my mind controlling me. My body also mentioned that there is a reason why it hasn't been a struggle, because I know it was needed for the massive healing that is happening within me.

I taught yin and it was actually really nice. I didn't chant in the Light Language like I used to... my guides said it would be too much. However, it was a bit hard to relax during Savasana. I did walk home, but slow. I had energy but my body didn't want to speed walk but to enjoy the walk.
Walking up the hill that leads to the area of town we leave in, was a bit of a struggle and I was cold, more than normally at night.

Thursday, June 6th, 2019

I didn't sleep as well as the previous night. I kept waking up super thirsty with an intense dry mouth, as in I had taken the biggest hit and had no water whatsoever. I am super sure my body is reentering ketosis. This is how it feels like. I also had dreams with food hahaha I was with Matt having dinner and I asked him if we could smoke 😂😂

When I woke up, my body didn't want to get out of bed; so I stayed there just breathing and looking around the room. I felt my breath a bit shallow and my heart started to beat faster than normal. Other than that I felt fine. Part of me freaked out thinking "Chirimoya! (This is what we say instead of "Jesus") I'm only on the 3rd day." I totally believe was my mind because I truly have been fine.

Amor did some energetic work on me as well as my guides and I got out of bed. My lovely guides had told me to have a tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar and make some tea before Sadhana. I havent taken any of the vinegar yet so I did... of course I listened!

I was quite nice to have something different besides tea and water, but it did make me a bit nauseous so I had to lay down before my Meditation practice. I had to cut it short to be honest... I can't explain why. It was like my body was exhausted but I had felt physical exhaustion before and it was nothing like it. Perhaps weak? Perhaps detoxing? Maybe both? Or it could be that it's my mind and not my body.
I am extremely cold though and I'm covered with a blankie lol

So let's see how the day continues. I've heard that the first 3 days are the hardest, which they totally havent been; perhaps because I eat really clean. That being said though, I am definitely feeling different and it was a bit of a struggle to move around, to make some tea and to continue to move around the house. I guess in that sense it has been a bit "hard." We'll see how the day proceeds!

Amor and I run some errands and I walked quite a lot. The walking up the stairs in Cusco can be intense so I truly slowed down. I met up with my very good friend Marion for "lunch" 😂😂 which of course she ate and I had some tea, well we both did. I do have to admit that besides cooking, I miss the smell of food! Hahaha I asked Marion if I could smell her crêpe !😂😂 and I do the same thing when Amor eats.

The rest of the night I just chill and it was nice!

Friday June 7, 2019

Ok friends!!! Water fasting day 4!!! 🎊🎉🥳💗 AND

I'M STILL HERE!!! Haha

I've feeling feeling A LOT of energy shifting in my lower back and mid back to upper back on my left side. Which is pretty fucking cool.

I'm also liking being the observer specially of my mind, but at the same time tuning in to my physical body in a deeper way. 😊🙏💗🥰

Last night, I slept SOOO good! It's been difficult the wake up as early as I do. Even if my eyes are open, my body still wants to lay down. I guess it needs to since there is A LOT of things changing within me.

The one thing that is kinda yucky... I read that the body can release through odors... well mine is releasing them through the mouth and it's not that fun! 😂😂😂 I asked D this morning "What do I doo?!" Hahahaha

And well specially in the mornings my body ... I'm assuming is still processing things so I find myself out of breath a bit, but then it goes away.

Supposedly from this day on, things get magical.

I had this thought: 👇

Wow you guys! WOW!! TOMORROW IS DAY 5!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

To be completely honest, I thought I wasn't gonna make it 😂 part of me thought it was gonna a be SUPER difficult, but my Guides said it wasn't going to so of course I trust them!

It's been such a beautiful journey to be the observer, to watch my mind and connect more with all my bodies.

I noticed today that my senses have sharpened. My hearing is more sensitive, my sense of smell, my vision and as well feeling the vibrations of the tires on the street. The hearing thing can be overwhelming at times, and I might have to retrieve and listen to relaxing music, otherwise it's too much. I guess that's the beginning and just need to learn how to control it?

I've also noticed that I look at things with more curiosity. I honestly feel like a child seeting things like "WOOOWWW" and I am way calmer than normal 😂😂 which I thought it was gonna be the other way around hahaha

Of course it's not easy all the time. It's been harder getting up earlier and today while I was trying to keep my arms up during Sat Kriya, they didn't really want to.

So far, I am completely impressed and excited for what the next days will bring!

Saturday, June 8th 2019

Water fasting day 5!!!!! 🥳🎉🎊💖🙌😱🥰💖🦄
Wow!!!!! I am half way there!!!! Half way there!!!!!
And honestly... it hasn't been bad AT ALL!! 😱! And this morning I woke up with so much energy in comparison to the past days!!! So I have tons of energy!! And I even woke up at 2 am and couldn't go back to bed till before 6 because I was having massive downloads!🥰💖💗

And I feel GREAT!!
Plus after the middle day everything becomes way easier and faster!

I did have SOOO much energy running through my back that I had to lay down while my guides channeled some energy to me. Which is super nice and I am beyond grateful!

Amor and I decided to go out and get him some food. So we went to La BoM, an AWESOME crêperie in the San Blas neighborhood and yes we walked there. And yes it was exhausting! Lol I had to stop at time because all these stairs that are EVERYWHERE in Cusco! Thank you Incas! 😂😂

And as I said last time, I do miss the smell of food so I did smell Amor's crêpe! Haha he is so used to my "crazy" things!

I decided to pamper myself for... for making it to day 5! Hahaha so I got a deep tissue massage, a manicure and pedicure!!! AHHH! SOOO LOVELY!! 🥰

After that I had SOOO much energy!! I walked back home like no big deal and I even felt like I had had food! Super interesting!!

So that's it for day 5 my friends! I'll keep you posted for the next 5 days!

Ps: Ah! Before I forget. My body was all puffy and the puffyness went away!!! I looked at myself in the mirror after showering and I said:

"We look SOOO good!!"

Thumbs up for water fasting honestly!
THUMBS UP!!!

Awakening Process

Monday May 20th 2019
Qosqo, Perú

Good Morning! 😊💖

Wow, yesterday was a day! Ha ha but beautiful anyway. At least I wrote down the descriptions for my channeled Therapies and Guidance! Lol #Yayness

But honestly, I was super tired, not physically, or maybe yes... I think it was a combination of everything.

It all began with the innerdance workshop... to be in the center and allowing people to see my intense process and then … Marie's facilitation. I do have to give her thanks again, because wow! What a release!

Here is where my question comes. A lot of times... it's become part of my everyday life... I hear when someone is thinking about me, their thoughts; I feel their feelings and I even see what they are seeing... the last latter not as much, but the others do happen quite often. The thing is that I sometimes feel that I am invading their privacy of the ones I feel, but then I realize that of course is not like that. The fact that I hear them is because they have opened themselves up and have given me permission to listen to them.

The question is... is that part of my powers? Is that part of awakening? Of my third eye? Higher Self, Divinity, could you please explain to me more about this? Because it is a quite crazy awesome magic trick lol.

“Ok. Begin to write.

When someone begins to wake up, everything within the being begins to change, the vibration, the energetic body, the molecular structure, the physical body. In other words, the being as a whole is adapting itself to the new energetic structure and the changes. Depending on how one has lived their "prior" life, it can be subtle or intense, and also the intensity is defined by the link that one has with previous lifetimes, which one had to bring to this current life to have the awareness of such.

That doesn't mean that it will always hurt, just that the being needs a potent fire to be able to wake up the deepest parts that have been truly asleep.

Therefore, when the fire ignites itself and begins to wake up the core of a being, it shouts little cords to different and all parts to wake them up. Like DNA. The connectivity gets activated and the internal connectivity of one's being is fully linked.

As all these molecules begin to connect, the awareness of someone begins to change. The being feels the subtle changes within and even at times it might think "That's weird" and goes on with what it’s believed to be "normal" life.

It is when the connections get strong that the changes within are felt in a deeper way and the physical body begins to morph following the real structure of the energetic connection.

If we look at the following chart 👉 Grab colors

One molecule begins to break out of its shell to become

👇

Free from distractions.

It shoots the current awareness, the truth to the rest to wake them up

👇

And they begin to morph to the current awareness, freedom and the domino effect starts.

👇

And so on.
Until in one "area" they are all free of limited conditions. Therefore the awareness moves freely and the physical body feels the change and adapts itself to allow the awareness to flow throughout.

👇

And so on.
When the physical body begins to change, the linear pattern changes and from ALL angles things connect. So there is nothing that is not connected.

Now, going back to your question, when the center gets awakened and sends signals to the rest of the being, what you call chakras, begin to work properly.

Now. You begin to believe they work, but how they truly work... chakras are just cells that had awaken themselves, merged together to become these powerful spheres that send receptors to other parts of the being to help it wake up. As in

"HEY! Are you there? Wake up!"

Think about it like a phone call, and slowly other parts wake up. The stronger these spheres become, the faster other parts wake up.

And some wake up faster than others because the attention is sent to a specific point of the being more than to others.

Every part of a being corresponds to different "powers" or "abilities". So again, the more connectivity in the cellular level, the stronger these abilities become and when the connectivity fully flows throughout, there is no separation and EVERYTHING works in unison.

The reason why you are able to do that is because you are getting fully connected to the infinite fountain of awareness. The infinite connectivity as a whole which is the infinite connectivity of it all.

There is no separation among any beings and that is what you are experiencing.

It's not just that your third eye is open. It's because in a deeper level all the connectors are being connected to it all and you are experiencing the totality of beings and life itself.”

Ah

“And yes, it begins with the ones that you are deeply connected with in this so called reality because your being needs to grow in a way that makes sense to it. So it attaches itself to the known to get closer to the unknown. Makes sense?”

Yes

“So continue to trust. Things are there and you have arrived. Allow your physical body to connect deeper to these points and let it upgrade itself.

You will lead others to do the same.

You already are.”

Thank you so much 😊

“Yup! Anytime!
We love you and we are always here for you. 👉 Your Angel's and guides. We'll talk about that later “

Lol
(Who are you?)
I love you
I love you
I love you

“And us you “😊

Shiva & Shakti

Friday, May 24 2019

Qosqo, Peru

Yesterday tired me so much.
Amor and I went to the Temple of the Monkey to take pictures and videos of me channeling. Channeling itself is a bit tiring at times. It was such a beautiful day. First, we went to Mercado San Blas to have breakfast and then we grabbed some cookies from this vegan shop to take them up with us.

Truly being up there is so much nicer than being in the city. I think it's simply because it's nature. We both miss nature; the air is fresher, the breeze is nicer and yes of course the no pollution thing, but it's beyond that. There is such a beautiful energy there that cannot be limited with a description of written words.

Since innerdance had played (and still does) such an important role in my awakening process, we decided to channel the Shakti energy. I will definitely type out what she said. To be completely honest, I didn't know much of her, just what I was told during both Kundalini Yoga Teacher Trainings, that truly wasn't much.

During the first one, we were told that the goal was to move Shakti from the bottom of the spine to the top where Shiva was in stillness waiting for her. During the second one with Yogi Amandeep, the point was to do only one Kriya to wake her up. Little did he know that Shakti in me was already dancing with Shiva.

This is one of the things that came out yesterday; Shakti said that it is not that Shiva is in stillness, they dance together always because they are not separate... funny how we "change" some things. Perhaps it's the duality world, perhaps it's ignorance, perhaps it's the part of all of the programming we had been tied to since we came into this existence.

So, I think it's necessary to go deeper in this subject, no guides?

Ok... I got my cup of coffee and my bottle of water, so let's begin. Shall we, guides?

"Let's"

Yesterday. Some truly amazing info about Shakti came through, specially that Shiva and Shakti constantly dance together. Could you go more in depth about it? Por favor.

"Humans believe that everything is separate, that who is writing this is separate from who is watching it happen, that a mother is separate from a child, that a chair is separate from the table, that a country is separate from who inhabits it. That all humans are separate from each other. However, the reality is that Creation is dancing with itself.

There is a reason why you are sitting down writing as things come through while your neck adjusts itself and Derek is innerdancing in the room while his neck is also adjusting itself. Both of you are going through experiencing the Union State; the State in which there is no separation, but a dance in which if you move this way, he also moves the same way. In other words, the totality of life being experienced in what is believed to be two different physical bodies and beings all together, which behind it all, is the same energy being moved away and dancing with itself.

When we come from the perspective of the totality of life, we understand that nothing is separate, that everything is moving and morphing at the same time, yet it is not. This is the reason why it has been believed that Shiva is in stillness, because he truly is, yet st the same time he is dancing with Shakti in ecstasy. These two things are happening simultaneously --> the stillness and the dance.

When you go to the very point of existence, the nothingness, the stillness, the zero point, there is absolutely nothing in motion, but when you understand that in order for consciousness to experience itself, it had to create its own form and expression; you can see the beautiful dance of life moving with full awareness that at the same time, is in stillness.

Your neck at this moment is going through the dance, as the cervical spine adjusts itself, as consciousness dances with the very same zero point of existence: stillness.

These are concepts so simple yet humans complicate everything because there is this programming that it couldn't be possible for things to be so simple. However, how and why would life complicate itself? It's just dancing, it's enjoying every single moment of its existence in ecstasy.

Think about a moment in time where you were dancing, whether it was alone or with friends. Describe it to me."

I was at EDC Las Vegas with Matt and a bunch of my besties.

“How did you feel?”

Extremely happy. On top of the world, like nothing could ever stop me yet all the pain I had within me was releasing as I danced in pure bliss.

“Exactly. That is the Dance. All these emotions believed to be negative are just as important as the ones that are believed to be positive. They both dance together in ecstasy when it's allowed. That is the Dance, Shiva and Shakti. They are both everywhere. All around. It's not just the energy within the spinal column, it's life itself. Makes sense?”

Ya, so how can we, as humans, be more aware of the presence of both at the same time?

"Well, it's simple --> it's existence itself. When thinking about the pool of where everything became everything, there is no separation. When knowing that there is not separation, it's understood that everything is the whole and with this awareness is understood that as you move, so does she. As you speak, so does he. As Shakti dances, so does Shiva, as Shiva remains in stillness so does Shakti.

Understand that beyond everything you are experiencing, there is a point that moves so fast, it is seen as stillness, like light and again, as life. Life is constantly moving, yet you experience stillness. It's not that life is in a still mode, it's that is constantly moving at such a fast speed that cannot be seen, yet it's in stillness and at the same time in motion.

Go beyond the belief that only one thing happens at the same time, because that is not how it works. Everything is happening at the same time all the time.

Everything.

EVERYTHING.

So when you believe that a problem has been created, the solution for such problem was created at the same time. Everything is there, but because humans tend to name things, they see it as separation, but it's not. They are both there working in unison and doing the same dance: Shiva and Shakti’s dance.”

Ah.

”You and Derek are doing the dance, with your physical bodies, which in reality is One, with your awareness, with your energy, with your thoughts, with your words, with your emotions. The bodies are shifting because the awareness has reached them and they are moving with the Dance of Union.”

How can we make the dance as smooth as possible?

“Let it be. Let it dance. How does it feel like when you are dancing and someone comes, stops and blocks it from flowing?”

Sucks.

“It's the same thing. Both consciousness are remembering; have remembered that they are one and they are dancing in ecstasy shooting signals to every part of the Being (you both) so the Being itself can experience totality. If you both stop it, if one of you stops it, like you said, sucks, the process becomes confused given that it just wants to dance with its full awareness.”

Ah

“So why would you want to stop it?”

Because we have things to do.

“And such things are more important than the Dance of totality?”

No.

“So why do you stop it?”

Because of fear.

“Fear of what?”

Of truly knowing, experience and live the truth.

“Why is that fearful?”

I can't speak for D, but for me ... I went through massive changes super quick. The life I had designed and manifested collapsed. It was scary as fuck. Who I believed to be, turned out it wasn't even me. So, who the hell was I? I suffered. I suffered a lot, yet I know I had designed it all to wake up to my truth; to dance like you said, but it doesn't change the fact that it was fucking scary. It hurt and I felt completely and utterly crazy.

“You still identity yourself with that one being.”

Yes.

“Why don't you let her go?”

Fear?

“Of what?”

Fear... fear of what others would say.
Fear of failing.
Fear of losing.
Fear, just irrational fear.

“Irrational fear indeed. People love you. You have a lot of wisdom that came through experience. You are not failing; you are succeeding in multiple dimensions and you are gaining more than you believe. So what is the reason behind this all?”

Since all these things came to my awareness, I worked so hard to reach the level of what we call Enlightenment and to be completely honest, I didn't think it was reachable; it was almost like a myth, until I met Babaji in Kathmandu. The myth dissolved and it became reality. Yet, I didn't think... part of me didn't think it was attainable for me. Yet a bigger part of me knew, that of course I can be there, why couldn't I? It's just... I'm not even sure. I'm just a "normal" girl. Who am I to reach that level of awareness?

“You are not just a normal girl.
You are the totality of existence.
You are life itself.
You are consciousness, full consciousness dancing in bliss.”

Right. I know that. I do, but how do I let the other part go? So the dance is free to do its thing?

“You are going through a big process. The awakening process is something so beautiful and simple and you are complicating it. Let it be. Let it flow. Trust and let go. You are being shown who you are and you are questioning things because you don't want to let go of who you had believed to be. How could you possibly experience totality if you are stuck in separation?

In order for you to know who you are
You must drop who you think you are

You are not this.
You are not that.
You just are.”

Ok.

“When you surrender and let things flow, it all comes. It's that simple.”

Lol. Super simple and no I'm not mocking.

“We know”

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I am beyond grateful.

“We are aware =)
Thank you.
We love you.”

And I love you.

“💗💗💗”