At times I am not sure how to communicate what happens in my life, in my world, as it's something beyond what the human mind can fathom. Yet, it is extremely important to share as I know and feel I am not the only one experiencing all these things. The reason why I write and share is because I want you to know that you are not alone and if you have some gifts that are seen so "out there," to embrace them. The reason why you have such gifts is because for many many lifetimes you have been doing this work; the work of the Heart. You have been leading people to freedom. You have been the example for many and many look up to you because of that. It is because of your pure heart that such deep gifts get activated and Divinity can do its work through you. Now, what a blessing that is!
For many many years, perhaps even all my life, I searched for something. I knew I was different somehow. I knew there was something so important I had come here to fulfill. The thing is that I kept searching not knowing at the beginning that when you search, in a sense you slam the door of the one thing that sets you apart from everyone else. I suffered so much trying to find it, not realizing that I had it all along. I didn't realize that what I had been searching for was calling me as well, not from the outside but from within.
It is scary to answer that call. Especially when you have already created a life. It is scary when your life goes upside down. The thing here is that even though it feels is going upside down, it is actually heading straight up. When we stop trying to control, when we stop fighting against the change, the channels clear up and they show us the way. This is what happened to me.
On 2018 I left a place I had called home for more than half of my life. I left the community, my family, my besties, my puppies and my partner. I didn't know what was ahead of me, I just knew I had to trust. The road was foggy and I couldn't even see one feet in front of me, yet there was a bigger guidance from the depth of my being that was showing me the way. I tried to seem kind of confident about it, but let me tell you one thing... I wasn't at all. I was freaking the fuck out inside. I was dying and in a sense rebirthing from within. Everything in me wanted to lose it, but the fire from inside kept me alive; kept me going.
Truly, I didn't have any other choice which I am grateful for. It was either "You follow that calling or you die." It sounds harsh, but it is the truth. I am not talking about physically, but spirituality. If I hadn't followed that guidance the spark of light within me would have extinguished itself and the one laying on the hammock, listening to the melody of the waterfall as she's writing these words, wouldn't be here.
There comes a point in life where you have seen so many things you had dreamed of seeing. When you do, there is no going back. It is similar to The Matrix. You truly cannot go back and live that one "normal" life you had had, because you are completely different.
COMPLETELY.
I had known for years that I was doing something more than energy work, something more than Reiki. In 2016 I had the first experience of being a Medium. It absolutely made my jaw dropped. I was at my dear friend Emily's apartment. She was asking me how to hold a ceremony for one of her students. Her boyfriend had just passed. I began to explain to her what to do and then... something changed. I felt a different energy coming through and HE began to speak through me. When Emily noticed this, she grabbed a piece of paper to take notes. The spirit delivered his message and when it was done we both looked at each other with the "Holy Shit" look.
How can you possibly go back to that one "normal" life? Especially when the message was delivered to her student and she cried because that was exactly how her boyfriend spoke.
How can you possibly go back to that one "normal" life?
I reached a point where I knew I had outgrown the city. The guidance I needed was no longer there and the energy in Asia began to call me. So I packed my bags and took off. That was the hardest thing I have done for far.
THE HARDEST.
I was walking without seeing. Something bigger was moving me. At times I felt I didn’t have the energy to keep going, yet I kept being moved and I am beyond grateful for that push.
In Thailand I released so much and I let go fully of who I wanted to be. I began to just be. I concentrated on myself and my journey and let go of any kind of expectation I had. I allowed life to show me the way. Even if at times it felt completely nuts, I let it be and trusted because truly, I had no other choice. I had to trust.
I had to trust I had made the right decision on moving across the world. I had to trust that whatever my parents had told me was not true. I had to trust that whatever feeling which made me take the leap of faith had been the right one to follow. And it had. It absolutely had.
At the end of June of 2018, I found myself surrounded by the most loving Soul Family. The had seen me and they had accepted me from the very first moment. They had never judged me. The had seen me as the Goddess I embody. Through the space of acceptance and unconditional love, the portal towards my truth opened up and I stepped right through it. This is when the channeling became so pure and so strong that it activated the remembrance of the Light Language that comes through me.
At the beginning I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. However, I knew it. I felt deeply within my own organism that it wasn't the first time I had spoken that language. It hadn't been separate from me, it had been me all along and I had rediscovered it. The more I continued to hold space for others, the more it activated itself until it became normality. I no longer just had "Normal" Reiki Sessions, but I started to speak, chant and sing in that Language. Nature understood it. It became the way I spoke to her and animals as well. It became my mother tongue. Something that allows me to access Higher Realms of Consciousness and opens up a bigger space for you to do your own healing in my presence.
The more I worked with others, the more it humbled me and still does. Why? Because truly, I am not doing the work. This consciousness, the one who's typing goes away, as it were non-existent and something Greater moves through this organism. Even though I remember absolutely everything of a session, the energy that comes through, the things that are said, is not me but the Highest Version of you that comes through me to facilitated your own healing in the form of God.
I know this word can trigger many things for some. I am not referring to the Catholic or Christian God. When I say that word I meant the One thing that moves it all. The One thing that makes us experience this reality. The One thing that moves the leaves and branches of a tree. The One thing that allows the water to flow. The One thing that makes your organism function without you even doing anything at all. The One thing that creates life. That's what I mean when I say God. And within that space there's you as you aren't separate from IT, from me, nor from existence. As you are the One thing that moves it all: God