Divine Channel

At times I am not sure how to communicate what happens in my life, in my world, as it's something beyond what the human mind can fathom. Yet, it is extremely important to share as I know and feel I am not the only one experiencing all these things. The reason why I write and share is because I want you to know that you are not alone and if you have some gifts that are seen so "out there," to embrace them. The reason why you have such gifts is because for many many lifetimes you have been doing this work; the work of the Heart. You have been leading people to freedom. You have been the example for many and many look up to you because of that. It is because of your pure heart that such deep gifts get activated and Divinity can do its work through you. Now, what a blessing that is!

For many many years, perhaps even all my life, I searched for something. I knew I was different somehow. I knew there was something so important I had come here to fulfill. The thing is that I kept searching not knowing at the beginning that when you search, in a sense you slam the door of the one thing that sets you apart from everyone else. I suffered so much trying to find it, not realizing that I had it all along. I didn't realize that what I had been searching for was calling me as well, not from the outside but from within.

It is scary to answer that call. Especially when you have already created a life. It is scary when your life goes upside down. The thing here is that even though it feels is going upside down, it is actually heading straight up. When we stop trying to control, when we stop fighting against the change, the channels clear up and they show us the way. This is what happened to me.

On 2018 I left a place I had called home for more than half of my life. I left the community, my family, my besties, my puppies and my partner. I didn't know what was ahead of me, I just knew I had to trust. The road was foggy and I couldn't even see one feet in front of me, yet there was a bigger guidance from the depth of my being that was showing me the way. I tried to seem kind of confident about it, but let me tell you one thing... I wasn't at all. I was freaking the fuck out inside. I was dying and in a sense rebirthing from within. Everything in me wanted to lose it, but the fire from inside kept me alive; kept me going.

Truly, I didn't have any other choice which I am grateful for. It was either "You follow that calling or you die." It sounds harsh, but it is the truth. I am not talking about physically, but spirituality. If I hadn't followed that guidance the spark of light within me would have extinguished itself and the one laying on the hammock, listening to the melody of the waterfall as she's writing these words, wouldn't be here.

There comes a point in life where you have seen so many things you had dreamed of seeing. When you do, there is no going back. It is similar to The Matrix. You truly cannot go back and live that one "normal" life you had had, because you are completely different.

COMPLETELY.

I had known for years that I was doing something more than energy work, something more than Reiki. In 2016 I had the first experience of being a Medium. It absolutely made my jaw dropped. I was at my dear friend Emily's apartment. She was asking me how to hold a ceremony for one of her students. Her boyfriend had just passed. I began to explain to her what to do and then... something changed. I felt a different energy coming through and HE began to speak through me. When Emily noticed this, she grabbed a piece of paper to take notes. The spirit delivered his message and when it was done we both looked at each other with the "Holy Shit" look.

How can you possibly go back to that one "normal" life? Especially when the message was delivered to her student and she cried because that was exactly how her boyfriend spoke.

How can you possibly go back to that one "normal" life?

I reached a point where I knew I had outgrown the city. The guidance I needed was no longer there and the energy in Asia began to call me. So I packed my bags and took off. That was the hardest thing I have done for far.

THE HARDEST.

I was walking without seeing. Something bigger was moving me. At times I felt I didn’t have the energy to keep going, yet I kept being moved and I am beyond grateful for that push.

In Thailand I released so much and I let go fully of who I wanted to be. I began to just be. I concentrated on myself and my journey and let go of any kind of expectation I had. I allowed life to show me the way. Even if at times it felt completely nuts, I let it be and trusted because truly, I had no other choice. I had to trust.

I had to trust I had made the right decision on moving across the world. I had to trust that whatever my parents had told me was not true. I had to trust that whatever feeling which made me take the leap of faith had been the right one to follow. And it had. It absolutely had.

At the end of June of 2018, I found myself surrounded by the most loving Soul Family. The had seen me and they had accepted me from the very first moment. They had never judged me. The had seen me as the Goddess I embody. Through the space of acceptance and unconditional love, the portal towards my truth opened up and I stepped right through it. This is when the channeling became so pure and so strong that it activated the remembrance of the Light Language that comes through me.

At the beginning I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. However, I knew it. I felt deeply within my own organism that it wasn't the first time I had spoken that language. It hadn't been separate from me, it had been me all along and I had rediscovered it. The more I continued to hold space for others, the more it activated itself until it became normality. I no longer just had "Normal" Reiki Sessions, but I started to speak, chant and sing in that Language. Nature understood it. It became the way I spoke to her and animals as well. It became my mother tongue. Something that allows me to access Higher Realms of Consciousness and opens up a bigger space for you to do your own healing in my presence.

The more I worked with others, the more it humbled me and still does. Why? Because truly, I am not doing the work. This consciousness, the one who's typing goes away, as it were non-existent and something Greater moves through this organism. Even though I remember absolutely everything of a session, the energy that comes through, the things that are said, is not me but the Highest Version of you that comes through me to facilitated your own healing in the form of God.

I know this word can trigger many things for some. I am not referring to the Catholic or Christian God. When I say that word I meant the One thing that moves it all. The One thing that makes us experience this reality. The One thing that moves the leaves and branches of a tree. The One thing that allows the water to flow. The One thing that makes your organism function without you even doing anything at all. The One thing that creates life. That's what I mean when I say God. And within that space there's you as you aren't separate from IT, from me, nor from existence. As you are the One thing that moves it all: God

Breaking the Vegan Code

I sit on my desk that overlooks the beautiful garden we have still hesitating about writing this blog. However, the message has been quite clear for the past weeks. Plus, I sent a newsletter earlier in the week saying this blog will be posted tomorrow... I did that on purpose. Yup, I did it on purpose because I know myself fairly well and at times I can convince myself out of doing some things. Let me explain to you the reasoning behind my hesitation.

Veganism can be quite intense. I am referring to the ones labeling themselves as “vegan.” Before I continue, let me say something. Know this is my own experience. This is the way my system sees and feels things based on personal events. There is absolutely nothing wrong with calling oneself vegan. What people choose to eat, it is their right. This experience of life is the freedom to explore in different ways distinct things in order to expand your consciousness. I am not writing this blog for people to be upset at me or to call me names. If you choose to do so it is on you. I am sharing my experience because it is very important to expand the mind and see things from a diverse perspective. I respect every single human being, whether they are vegan, vegetarian, pescatarians, meat eaters, etc. I love everyone equally.

Ok, back to what I was elaborating on. Vegans are seen on tv protesting and being so strong in their own beliefs conveying that their way of life is better than the rest. Amor has a dear friend that used to do such things and his actions don’t make us love him any less. As a matter of fact, we respect what he is doing and what he has done in the past. He does it all from his heart space and he sees it as the right thing to do. It is all based on perception. So the reason why I was hesitant was because of my fear of being judged by people that have been close to me or are close to me at this moment in time. However, I understood that regardless of my beliefs, if someone wants to be in my close circle of friends, nothing will get in the way. And so I find myself writing this blog.

I used to consider myself as vegan. I labeled myself and I had no idea I had given birth to a code in my system. I saw it as “YES! I’m vegan! I’m healthy! I don’t harm any living creatures or organisms.” So, with the consciousness of that moment, I was doing the absolute right thing for my growth and for my system. Things changed this past July when a dear friend Serena went to Las Vegas to facilitate an innerdance (Kundalini energy activation) immersion. Amor and I were there as well visiting my family. Serena stayed with us at my parents’ house. It was completely awesome having her around. I resonate with her experiences so much and we both get our way of speaking in code. We were in the kitchen enjoying a small meal with my parents. They eat all kinds of things and deeply enjoy it. It is actually kinda nice watching them eat food that brings them joy. My mom had bought a pineapple upside down cake. My favorite growing up! Of course, non vegan. My dad asked me if I wanted some, I said “no.” He then asked Serena if she wanted a piece. First she said ‘no.” He made a comment and then she said “Alright. Alright. Just a small piece.” The small piece ended up being two pieces because one did not have some pineapple. This blew my mind.

I know how Serena eats. She mostly has raw food and juices. She doesn’t really eat gluten, nor eggs, or dairy. Pretty much a “raw vegan,” yet she doesn’t label herself as one. She enjoyed it. My dad’s face lit up. He was proud. After witnessing this, I began to observe the way I was with food. My mind would quickly go to “Is it vegan?.... oh no no no no then.” Pretty much considering one better than the other one. Soon I realized that I had boxed myself in the vegan code. I saw and felt how deeply that programming had been running in my system and I didn’t want it to be there any longer. If I choose to eat how a labeled vegan eats, it is one thing, but labeling myself and unconsciously building a code in my being ... no way. There is one thing I use all my practices for and that is to consciously break any codes and programmings in my organism. It is to be free from anything that society penetrated and placed a little seed which grew so strong. It is to enjoy my own existence in its own unique way, choosing what works best for it and what doesn’t. No labels. Being. Just being. So my quest to break the vegan code within myself commenced.

The way it works when something is too engraved in a system and wants to be free from it, is to be reminded of others that have broken the specific code that is being worked on. In my case, the reminder was Serena. I paid deep attention to my mind and my reactions. The reactions not only within me, but also the facial expressions, and the way I would move my physical body in order to communicate that something wasn’t agreeing with me. This non agreement wasn’t because I chose it, but it was due to the code. It was quite hard at the beginning. Almost like telling a lefty not to use the left hand from then on and only the right. The system has to re-wire itself and it is not something as easily done. Luckily, at the beginning I didn’t have many instances where I was put face to face with the code. Things changed during the very first night of an Ayahuasca retreat we were part of.

We were told to arrive at a specific time and dinner was going to be served. So this is when the code activated itself even more. I immediately assumed whatever was going to be served was going to be vegan... again... the labels. Well, let me tell you that it wasn’t. It was vegetarian. Ha ha ha. I received the bowl and saw this orange yellow thing in the soup. My mind freaked out.

“Is this an egg?”

Yup! It definitely was an egg.

“Fuck! It is all over this thing... I can’t... I can’t possibly...”

I caught myself. I took a deep breath and remembered Serena. No food is bad or good. It just is. Take a deep breath. Ok. Good. I saw myself staring at the bowl of food as I was calming my mind and trying to stop the “You can’t eat this” thoughts. They were SOO strong. I looked at Amor. I needed some validation that I could get through this. Yes! This is how strong the code was! He didn’t even look at me. He was completely enjoying the meal.

“Ok. Ok. Ok. You got this.”

I began to eat but I still felt my face morphing into the “ew” face.

“Calm yourself. It is just food.”

Slowly I continued to eat it. I forced myself to eat some of the egg but immediately my system went into shock because it was something you absolutely cannot do when you had labeled yourself as “vegan.”

I definitely didn’t finish it. I completely freaked out inside. I absolutely did not like the feeling. First, because the food was made with love. Second, I watched everyone around eating, they seemed to be enjoy it, and nothing in their faces showed a struggle. So I was the only one struggling to eat something just because it had some egg in it. Nope. I did not like it at all. I felt the code so deep. It was in control. It was in absolute control of my system and for me that is a big no no.

During one of the ceremonies in the retreat, the Mother addressed that:

“It is not what you eat that matters, but how it was cooked. Is it cooked with love? From which space is the idea of feeding someone coming from?”

This blew my mind. I began to think about our plant medicine family. In the little time I have been around them, I have noticed their deep love for existence. You truly get to know someone when you are going through a journey and someone else is taking care of not only you but everyone else that is a part of it. Their faces came to my mind and I felt their deep unconditional love. The love which drives what they do; their service to humanity.

“Ok. Ok.” I can understand that. In a sense I did understand. The fact that I was being like “Ewww! I CANNOT put this in my system!” Was separating the beautiful things the Creator had gifted us. It was a slap in the face saying to Him “this right here is poop!” And it’s not at all. Everything is equally beautiful.

Now, I will share something with you. Please keep your mind open. That is all I ask.

Amor and I have been doing this super powerful meditation for Global Sadhana. Pretty much since the very first day, I have gone under trances. Some of them are quite intense, some are beautiful, some are very gentle. A couple of days ago, I got a message about this code. It made sense, in a very funky way. Here it goes:

If animal farming and animal killing did not exist, would the vegan code even be here? Please just hear me out, because just like you might feel at this moment, I shared that feeling when I heard the message. The fact that the world reached a point where animals are just being farmed and killed to feed most humans in this planet in a sense gave birth to this code. In a sense, it helped people wake up. Why might you ask? First, for seeing how unfair it is for animals. Yes, it is unfair. I completely agree with it. Imagine a world with things reversed. A world where animals farmed humans to eat them, because... why not? They gotta eat, no? So at seeing this unfairness and even perhaps the look in their eyes as they are in a cage knowing, KNOWING they are about to be killed, shifted something within some people’s systems.

This is completely impactful especially when someone feels so much. Now, if the farming hadn’t existed, would the vegan code be so prominent? Perhaps, perhaps not. Perhaps it wouldn’t even exist. Perhaps it would be the norm and it is not even a label. It would just be the normality. So in a sense, without this massacre of animals, most people that labeled themselves as vegans wouldn’t have woken up to a potential within them. This doesn’t mean that eating the way they choose to eat is the only right way. Yes, it is in their system, not in everyone’s. This is very important to remember. Perhaps the path of the ones who farm animals is to do exactly what they are doing to bring forth this revolution and evolution within some. When we look at this from this perspective, in a way, they must be thanked.

I know it sounds so incredibly messed up, but would you stand up for that strong belief within yourself if it hadn’t existed? Would you protest against animal rights? Would you stand outside a butcher store and call the people working there names if such a thing hadn’t even existed? Now... that’s big.

For me for example, I feel deeply, more than you can imagine; more than I can imagine at times. I cannot even kill a fly or watch someone else kill an insect. As a matter of fact, they speak to me and ask for protection. When this happens, I take them outside and let them be in their natural environment. Even when I sweep and by accident I sweep an insect... you know how much that hurts me? I tune into their feelings and it is not fun at times. I even apologize. As silly as that might sound to you. Why? Because I know I am not separate from them. I know that even though I am having a human experience and them an insect experience, we all come from the same Source. That being said, I don’t call myself a vegan anymore.

I choose to eat according to what my system needs. No, this does not mean I eat meat. What I like eating the most is juice and raw veggies with hummus and guacamole. However, I no longer make a face when something is not vegan. I no longer see food as “This is horrible!” Or “This is the greatest thing ever!” I see food as how it is. I see my system as how it is. If it sees something and it wants to try it, ok try it. Why limit your own beautiful experience based on such a deep code that runs from beyond what we can understand?

No. I choose not to live based on coding. I choose to live in freedom experiencing life the way I want and choose to experience it, not the way the collective energy is telling me how to live it. I choose to be free from every single code in this system. I choose freedom from limited beliefs and programmings. I choose to be. I choose to be this organism in its most pure essence, existing in this own way and leading a revolution of consciousness.

I choose the following words:

I am what I am and that is that.

My Guardians: An Unconditional Love Beyond Human

I sit on my desk as I listen to Simrit sing "Sat Narayan" and at the same time the melody of the rain. Life is truly beautiful when we surrender to its flow and to the messages that might seem hidden. Messages are always coming through in one way or another. The rain has its one language. She speaks. So does the Sun and the Moon. The way one person lays down says a lot about the mental state of that particular moment. The way the eyes shine or not. The way one walks. The way a doggie looks at you. I can go on and on and on about different kinds of languages and messages. There is one kind I would like to concentrate on today.

I sat at this specific chair that morning. I was journaling as I watched attentively our garden. Something caught my attention as I listen to the subtleties of the trees and the fruits. I had to move side to side to make sure I was actually seeing what I thought I was seeing. I saw giant white wings. They looked like the ginormous leaves of a banana tree. We have tons of those in the garden. The wings were near them. Hence the movement to make sure I wasn't making things up. As we know, the mind likes to play tricks. I thought that somehow the Sun was hitting the leaves stronger than ever and it was making them seem they were white. Yet these "leaves" did not move. Neither were they leaning like the rest; they were pointing straight up.

I put my pen down on my journal and paid more attention to what my eyes were seeing and what my heart was feeling. Something within said,

"Go outside."

I did.

The moment I reached the porch that overlooks to the garden, something grabbed my hand and took me down towards a spot that Amor and I go quite frequently to watch the sunset and talk. It didn't scared me at all. The energy felt very similar. Perhaps if it had been the first time that something beyond my eyes could see held me, I might've freaked out a bit. However, this has happened multiple times before.

When we reached the spot, we sat down. I was sitting to the left of my Guardian Angel. I knew his presence. The first time he appeared to me, I was laying down on the couch breathing while a friend watched TV in my house in Las Vegas. He placed my hands on my heart and introduced himself. He didn't need much introduction after that. I know his energy. I say him because the name he introduced himself with, is considered a masculine name.

He began to talk to me about my path and how great I am doing staying on top of things. Although most things he said are very personal, there is one thing I do want to share about the conversation.

"Thanks for investigating and coming out of the house. I knew you would."

"Part of me thought it was a banana leave shinning super bright, but I knew better. Something within said to come out and I did."

"I am very glad."

"However, I am wondering why at this moment I am not seeing your wings and I'm just feeling your presence."

"You would freak out if you saw my eyes. You are not ready yet."

"Try me." What a human thing to say.

"You will soon. We are very proud of you. You've come a long way."

"Thank you. I know. It's been beyond intense."

"We know. Keep it up."

"Of course."

"You are meant to do great things and you will. You already are."

"Thank you. I know. I feel it. It humbles me. It transforms my heart into a heart that is beyond human. I have a hard time communicating at times. I feel I speak in code."

"Ha ha ha. Yes, indeed you do. The right ones will understand it."

A day or two later, Amor and I were listening an interview of Joe Dispenza about Light Beings helping him in his courses. This topic completely fascinates me as I have had the experience of these Light Beings helping me through my process. What truly caught my attention was his description of them:

Very tall white beings with a very strong presence.

Tall white beings... I have seen them before...

He said they can't lower their vibrations to meet the "normal" human vibrations because that would mean to lose themselves. Therefore, they ask humans to meet them in the middle. If they were to lower their vibrations to a human level, they might lose themselves, as in stop existing. This is something they don't do as they love themselves so much.

Tall white beings...

A few years ago in 2013, I was suicidal. I was at home, went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and went to the room. Apparently I wasn't sneaky enough because my roommate told my husband at the time and he rushed home from work. Yes, the intentions of grabbing the knife was to end this precious life of mine. The knives we had, were not just regular knives, but chef knives. Very very very sharp.

To be completely honest, till this day I am not quite sure what happened. It is all blurry but one part. The door opened, three ginormous white beings entered. I didn't like their presence. They were on a mission and it scared me. They walked like the owned the room. They walked so fiercely and so sure of themselves. They did not even say a word as they moved towards the bed were I was laying freaking out with Matt. One immediately went to my legs and held my ankles down. The other one went to my head and held it down. Matt pushed down on my shoulders. I screamed as the other one was coming towards my face. I tried to move around and throw a fit for them to let me go. I couldn't. I couldn't move. Their strength was beyond human and what in the world was Matt doing?!?! He should be helping me.

The one holding my head down opened up my mouth and there was absolutely nothing I could do to either stop it or close my mouth. I saw the other one approaching me with a syringe. I freaked out even more. I was so scared. I was so scared.

"Who are these people?! What are they doing to me?!"

I was injected in my palate with something. Whatever it was made me pass out. When I woke up, I was in Matt's arms. The door was open. I looked around confused.

"Did anybody come to the room?"

"No," he replied.

However, they had. I knew they had because the suicidal tendencies were no longer there. Rather than feeling hopeless and lifeless, I felt full of unconditional love. Matt saw it too. He saw my eyes and could tell something in me had shifted.

As Joe Dispenza kept talking about it, that memory came up. I understood why my Guardian Angel had said I'd freak out if I saw his eyes. I was gonna recognize him and it was gonna take me back to that experience. The next morning I talked to him.

"We had done the math and we had a specific amount of time in which we needed to do what was necessary to help you. We knew you were gonna kill yourself. It wasn't your time yet. You were making it so difficult."

"I was scared. I didn't know what was going on."

"Yes. We know."

"Joe Dispenza said..."

"Yes. We got back right on time. It was a chance we were willing to take for you. We are your Guardians."

I was speechless. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude came through. They... they... put their own existence in the line to help me... they almost lost themselves. All of this was done by the unconditional love to me... to ME. And to think that at those moments, I felt so lonely and that noone ever cared for me. Yet, they were there watching over me, guiding me even though I couldn't see them or feel them. My Guardians not only were there at every step of the way, but they sacrificed their own existence for ME.

To help ME.

To save ME.

Gratitude doesn't even cut it.

So I sit here sharing this experience with an immense heart. A heart that once thought it was just a human heart and now knows it goes beyond it. A heart that if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here writing these words. A heart that is never alone. A heart that when looking at things from the bigger perspective of life, is not even mine or theirs. It's OURS.

💞💞💞

Estoy sentada en mi escritorio escuchando la canción "Sat Narayan" de Simrit y al mismo tiempo, la melodía de la lluvia. La vida es completamente hermosa cuando nos rendimos a su flujo y a los mensajes que parecen estar escondidos.
Los mensajes siempre vienen de una manera u otra. La lluvia tiene su propio idioma. Ella habla como el Sol y La Luna. La manera como una persona se echa dice bastante del estado mental en el cual está en ese momento. La manera como los ojos brillan o no. La manera como uno camina. La manera como un perrito te mira. Puedo seguir y seguir con los ejemplos de diferente tipos de lenguajes y mensajes. Hay un tipo en el cual me quiero concentrar hoy.

Esa mañana estaba sentada en esta misma silla. Estaba escribiendo en mi diario mientras también prestaba bastante atención a nuestro jardín. Algo me llamó la atención mientras escuchaba la sutiles de los árboles y frutas. Tuve que moverme de lado a lado para confirmar lo que pensaba haber visto. Vi unas alas blancas gigantes. Parecían las hojas gigantes de un árbol de plátano. Tenemos tantos de estos en el jardín. Las alas estaban cerquísimas a ellos. Por eso me movía tanto para saber que no me estaba imaginando cosas. Como sabemos, a la mente le encanta jugar. Pensé que fácil la luz del Sol brillaba tanto en las hojas que hacía que parezcan blancas. La cosa es que estas "hojas" no se movían. Y no estaban inclinadas como las demás pero derechitas.

Solté mi lapicero y lo puse en mi diario para poder prestar más atención a lo que mis ojos estaban viendo y a lo que mi corazón estaba sintiendo.
Algo dentro de mí me dijo,

"Anda afuera."

Lo hice.

Cuando llegué al porche que mira desde arriba al jardín, algo agarró mi mano y me guió hacia el lugar donde Amor y yo vamos frecuentemente a ver la postada del sol. No me dió nada de miedo. La energía que sentí fue bien conocida. Fácil si esto hubiera pasado por primera vez, sí que me hubiera asustado y harto. Pero ya ha pasado bastantes veces.

Cuando llegamos al lugar nos sentamos. Me senté al costado izquierdo de mi Ángel Guardián. Conozco su presencia. La primera vez que se me apareció, estaba echada en el sofá respirando mientras una amiga veía televisión en mi casa en Las Vegas. Él puso sus manos en mi corazón y se presentó. Después de eso no necesitaba más introducciones. Conozco su energía. Digo él porque el nombre con el cual se introdujo es un nombre masculino.

Él empezó a hablarme de mi camino y el buen trabajo que estoy haciendo con todas las cosas. Aunque la mayoría de las cosas que dijo son bien personales, quiero compartir una de ellas.

"Gracias por investigar y salir de la casa. Sabia que ibas a venir."

"Parte de mí pensó que era una hoja de plátano brillando bastante, pero supe mejor. Algo dentro de mí me dijo que salga y lo hice."

"Me da mucho gusto."

"Aunque en este momento me estoy preguntando por qué no veo tus alas y sólo siento tu presencia."

"Te asustarias bastante si vieras mis ojos. No estás lista todavía."

"Inténtalo." Que cosa tan humana de decir.

"Las verás pronto. Estamos muy orgullosos de tí. Has pasado por tantas cosas."

"Gracias. Lo sé. Ha sido mucho más que intenso."

"Lo sabemos. Continúa con todo."

"Por supuesto."

"Has venido acá para hacer grandes cosas y lo harás. Ya lo estás haciendo."

"Gracias. Lo sé. Lo siento. Me da más humildad. Transforma mi corazón a un corazón más que humano. Aveces se me hace difícil comunicarme. Siento que hablo en código. "

" Ja ja ja. Si, ciertamente lo haces. Los adecuados lo entenderán. "

Un día o dos días después, Amor y yo estábamos escuchando una entrevista de Joe Dispenza sobre Seres de Luz ayudándole en sus cursos. Este tema me fascina ya que estos Seres me han ayudado tanto en mi proceso. Lo que realmente me llamó la atención fue la descripción de estos Seres:

Seres blancos y muy altos con una presencia bien fuerte.

Seres blancos y altos ... los he visto antes...

Él dijo que dichos Seres no pueden bajar sus vibraciones para llegar a las vibraciones "normales" humanas porque eso significaría que se perderían. Por lo tanto, ellos les piden a los humanos de encontrarse en la mitad. Si ellos bajan sus vibraciones a un nivel humano, se podrían perder; osea dejar de existir. Esto es algo que no hacen ya que se aman tanto.

Seres altos y blancos...

Hace un par de años en el 2013, yo era suicida. Estaba en la casa, fui a la cocina, agarré un cuchillo y me fui al cuarto. Aparentemente no lo hice a escondidas porque mi compañero de piso llamó al que era mi esposo y él regresó a la casa al toque. Sí, la intención que tenía era de quitar la bella vida que tengo. Los cuchillos que teníamos no eran cuchillos normales sino cuchillos de chef. Muy muy muy afilados.

Honestamente hasta este día no sé exactamente lo que pasó. Todo está súper borroso menos una parte. La puerta se abrió y tres seres súper gigantes blancos entraron. No me gustó la presencia de ellos. Tenían una misión y eso me asustó. Caminaron como si fuera su cuarto. Caminaron ferozmente y bien seguros de sí mismos. No dijeron ninguna palabra mientras se acercaban a la cama donde estaba echada con Matt volviéndome loca. Inmediatamente uno se acercó a mis piernas y me agarró los tobillos. El otro se fue hacia mi cabeza y la aguantó. Matt puso presión en mis hombros para no poder moverlos. Grité cuando me di cuenta que el otro se estaba acercando hacia mi cara. Intenté de moverme y soltarme de ellos pero no pude. No me pude mover para nada. La fuerza de estos seres era más que humana. Y que cosa estaba haciendo Matt?!? Me debería de ayudar.

El que mantenía mi cabeza abrió mi boca y no pude hacer nada para pararlo o cerrarla. Vi que el otro se me acercaba con una jeringa. Me asusté mucho más. Tenía tanto miedo. Tanto miedo.

"Quienes son estas personas?! Y que me están haciendo?!"

Me inyectaron en mi paladar con algo. Fuera lo que fuera me hizo perder el conocimiento. Cuando me desperté estaba en los brazos de Matt. La puerta estaba abierta. Miré alrededor del cuarto confundida.

"Alguien entró al cuarto?"

"No," respondió él.

Sin embargo, sí que entraron. Supe que sí habían entrado porque mis tendencias suicidas ya no estaban en mi sistema. En vez de sentirme sin esperanza y sin vida, me sentía llena de amor incondicional. Matt también se dió cuenta. Él vió mis ojos y supo que algo había cambiado en mí.

Mientras Joe Dispenza seguía hablando del tema, esta memoria regresó. Entendí porque mi Ángel de la Guardia me había dicho que me iba a asustar si veía sus ojos. Lo iba a identificar y eso me iba a regresar a esa experiencia. El día siguiente hablé con él.

"Hicimos el cálculo y teníamos un tiempo limitado en el cual teníamos que hacer lo necesario para ayudarte. Sabíamos que te ibas a quitar la vida. No era tu tiempo todavía. Hiciste todo más difícil de lo que tenía que ser."

"Tenía mucho miedo y no sabía lo que estaba pasando."

"Sí. Lo sabemos."

"Joe Dispenza dijo..."

"Sí. Regresamos a tiempo. Era la única oportunidad y estábamos dispuestos a tomarla por ti. Somos tus Guardianes."

Me quedé sin palabras. Una enorme sensación de gratitud llenó mi ser. Ellos... ellos... pusieron su existencia en el fuego para ayudarme... casi se pierden. Todo esto fue hecho por el amor incondicional hacia mí... hacia MÍ. Y pensar que en esos momentos me sentía tan sola y que a nadie le importaba. Pero ellos me estaban protegiendo y guiándome aunque no los podía ni ver ni sentir. Mis Guardianes no solamente estuvieron ahí conmigo todo el tiempo sino que sacrificaron sus propias existencias por mí.

Para ayudarme.

Para salvarme.

Decir que tengo tanta gratitud no se compara a lo que siento.

Sentada comparto esta experiencia con un corazón tan inmenso. Un corazón que alguna vez pensó que solo era un corazón humano y ahora es mucho más que eso. Un corazón que si no fuera por ellos, no estaría aquí escribiendo estas palabras. Un corazón que nunca ha estado sólo. Un corazón que si se ve desde una perspectiva más grande de la vida, no es ni mío ni de ellos. Es de nosotros.

The Mirror of Life - Always showing you the depth of your beauty

Last week, Amor and I returned from a truly intense yet beautiful experience : a 5 day Ayahuasca Retreat. For those who do not know what Ayahuasca is, it is a Master Plant. Indigenous people from the Amazon have been working with her for centuries; she shows you aspects of your darkness in a way that you can accept it, and “put your shit together.” 

We had known prior to coming to Colombia that such a retreat would be extremely powerful, however we could not have imagined its magnitude. I will not go into details of my entire experience.  Somehow, I believe that won’t be as helpful for you all as it was for me. The main reason is because, it was MY experience and you can imagine it all you want but until you experience it yourself, your imagination will not provide the benefits of sitting through an Ayahuasca journey and allowing the Mother to guide you through it.

What I will talk about is one of the things she showed me and told me; something I deeply believe we all need to hear perhaps more than once a week ... I know for myself, I needed to hear that way more often. That being said, let’s get to it, shall we?

It was our last ceremony and it was a morning one. I truly resonated so much with the Sun God and Mother Nature during these kinds of ceremonies. After receiving the medicine and sitting with her on the porch with the rest of what I can call now, my friends, I decided to go back to my little space in the garden, underneath two beautiful trees that had guided me so much during the first afternoon ceremony.

I was very surprised by my new strength in surrendering to the Mother and being able to stay present with my breath, rather than going into trances and allowing my own Kundalini energy to take over. As I sat with my feelings and gratitude for not going into the dark, yet still acknowledge it and loving it, the Mother began to talk to me:

“Life has always been showing you the beauty of your being”

Yet, I had never truly paid attention to that, as I had been stuck in being jealous of other’s beauty... external beauty. She showed me a memory that I remember way too well and it made me feel silly and laugh at myself. Here it is:

When I was young and still living in Lima, Peru, one of my best friends was a girl that had just moved from Italy with her family.  Her and her brother enrolled in Antonio Raimondi, the Italian school in Lima I was attending.

This girl was and still is extremely beautiful, in and out. However, since I was caught in my own shit of not feeling or seeing my own external beauty, I always envied her. It was almost like she was perfect ... and truly, we all are... everyone loved her.  She was funny, easy going and had a ginormous heart. I believed that being around her could make me popular (ego coming out), but I truly adored her. Somehow, she got me and we immediately clicked.

One time, she was invited to a party where my crush was going as well. Of course my jealous bar went super high up and I didn’t know what to do. 

YES, I wanted to go to the party.

YES, the fact that I wasn’t invited made me feel more ugly.

YES, I was super jealous of her for being the “new girl” at school and getting all the attention.

YES, my ego was furious.

YES

YES

YES AND MORE YES.

I had come over and she was asking me for suggestions on what to wear. Ok... imagine my feelings. No, I didn’t want to help. As a matter of fact, I wanted her to look as hideous as possible... knowing... that wasn’t even an option, because there was no possible way she could ever be hideous.  She was gorgeous! 

So here is where my ego came out and fully began to run the show.

Instead of telling her which outfit she looked the best on, I opted for the one that wasn’t as cute. Of course, once again, it wasn’t that she didn’t look cute, the outfit I told her about wasn’t as sexy as the other one. My heart sunk. I knew what I had done to the one person I called my best friend.   To the one that I shared so many memories with and even got best friends charms... what in the world had I just said to her?!

However, never once did I take my word back. I let it be.

I remembered, going back home and feeling so shitty not only for my choice of words but also because I knew how much fun she was going to have while I sat at home feeling so sorry about myself. Oh youth!

As I watched the memory, her face, my reactions and feelings, the Mother spoke,

“She was mirroring to you your own beauty. It wasn’t that she was the only beautiful girl, she was trying to express and communicate to you how extraordinary the beauty of your own being is.”

I smiled and felt so silly. 

I felt so silly because of course she was showing me how beautiful I am, 

OF COURSE!! 

But having lived in such a society, remembering how much I had been made fun of for being fat and “not pretty,” not only from my family but also my so called friends; that was the only thing that was in my mind constantly. I didn’t have in my mind,

“Oh, I’m so pretty”, 

but 

“Ew! I’m so ugly, not worth anything and hideous! Of course no one wants to date me!.”

Mother continued,

“Life has always shown you the depth of your beauty. Constantly. In every second of your life, in every experience you have had, there was life mirroring to you how extremely beautiful you are in and out.”

WOW! 

Just, 

WOW!

At that moment, the movie of my life so far, played in my head. An overwhelming feeling of gratitude covered my entire being. Gratitude for that one friend, gratitude for every moment of my life, gratitude for myself and gratitude for all my experiences whether they were painful or blissful. I began to think,

“ How many of us, just go around life thinking how hideous we are, missing this one powerful point? Missing that in reality, life is not only mirroring to us what we need to work on, but also, how incredibly beautiful/handsome we all are!?”

WOW!

WOW Mother WOW!

It all made so much more sense. 

ALL OF IT!

I stayed in that space, admiring Nature, admiring life and myself, with so much unconditional love and gratitude for every single breath I have taken and will continue to take. 

Gratitude. Period. Gratitude.

So, this is my message and a powerful reminder to you all:

It doesn’t matter what you have gone through in life, how many people have hurt you, how many people you have hurt, what was said to you, what you said. It doesn’t matter. What truly matters is this moment in time, what we call the present moment and the beauty of life itself. How many of us go in our heads about our mistakes, our pains and hurts and totally forget to see the actual beauty of our beings?

You ARE beautiful!

You ARE powerful!

Life is CONSTANTLY showing you how truly beautiful you are.

ALWAYS

What a miracle that is!

So, pay attention, open up your heart and realize that despite of how you have felt in the past, there is an extraordinary beauty within you and around you. You are unique and that uniqueness gives power for your strength to come forth.  That uniqueness is what is needed in this world.  That uniqueness transforms your being and allows it to express itself in its own way. That uniqueness is what we all see,

The true YOU

I love you. 

I know you have been hurt, just like I have, but at this moment in time, what is needed is our strength. What is needed is for us to own our uniqueness and work together as a team, whether we have met physically or not. 

What is needed is US! 

Being ourselves and showing the rest of the world that we don’t need to be like everybody else to feel ok. What is needed is to show the unconditional love for the Self as we surrender to our truth and allow ourselves to BE.

To BE

So much love to you all.

So much love and thank you so much for mirroring me how extraordinary I am and for being in this not so gentle rollercoaster we call life. 

I am deeply grateful for all your presences.

THANK YOU.